


Line of Fire

by AHumanFemale, Power-Bottom-Barba (Cap_Against_The_Clap)



Series: Dynamics [2]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alpha Sonny, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Drama, Feels, Filth, M/M, Omega Rafael, Romance, Very graphic, all of the sex things will be involved by the end, casefic, death threat fic, discussions about consent, extensive amounts of smut, heat/rut cycles, nsfl, porn classed up to look like a story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-02-24 07:00:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 29,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13208433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AHumanFemale/pseuds/AHumanFemale, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cap_Against_The_Clap/pseuds/Power-Bottom-Barba
Summary: “I hope you realize this is a game that doesn’t need to be played,” Rafael said and did his best to soften his expression.  It was easier than he thought it would be, looking at the man next to him.  “I think you and I both know that a date isn’t necessary to know where we stand.”Where they stood being on the precipice of something a lot bigger than themselves, the beginning ahead of them the closest to a sure thing Rafael had ever felt in his life.“Yeah, I know,” Sonny replied, the corner of his mouth threatening to turn up into a smile.  “Doesn’t mean I don’t want every bit of you I can get.”-[Or, threats are made on surly Omega Rafael Barba's life and Sonny puts himself personally in charge of Rafael's security because he ain't havingnoneof it.]





	1. Questions

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to Robin Hood and tobeconspicuous for cheerleading, the beta, and general acceptance of our sinful ways. Both authors have done their utmost to both challenge existing ABO dynamics and embrace them, ideally provoking thought about a trope we've all seen play out a million times. This story picks up about two weeks after "Dynamics", on their second date - or first, depending on who you ask.
> 
> Power-bottom-barba would like to extend his deepest shame, pride, and apologies. :)
> 
> AHumanFemale would like you all to know that this is power-bottom-barba's fault.
> 
> Thanks for reading! We hope you all enjoy.
> 
> xoxo, p-b-b and ahf.

**Chapter One - Questions** ****  


Rafael sat alone at the bar, watching the chef work.  

He’d been waiting almost half an hour but his phone hadn’t gone off yet so he waited, considering ordering sake and perusing over the sushi list.  Galactic Sushi was a compromise between both their tastes - terrific sashimi for Rafael with a science fiction decor for Sonny, who still insisted on watching his Star Trek DVDs at least twice a year.  A fact that Rafael knew about him now, Sonny having offered it the week before.  Before Sonny invited them on their first date.  Their first date that Sonny swore didn’t count, as they ended up talking about nothing but work the entire evening.  Tonight was their do-over - an evening where work talk wasn’t allowed.

Sonny also reserved the right to three personal questions of his choosing, as though a scoreboard would be necessary to ensure he got the maximum amount of information about his date.  Of course, Rafael provided hardly anything on these first few days of their budding relationship - at least not any information worth knowing about himself, so it was possible that Sonny knew him better than originally thought.  A thought that didn’t displease him, strangely enough.  Probably that was a bad sign.  A sign he was in deeper than originally thought, despite his early resistance to the clear blue eyes and cocksure smile that accompanied SVU’s newest addition - the tall, slender Alpha from Staten Island.  

An Alpha that constantly surprised him.  Never aggressive, never reckless.  Never needlessly violent or pushy or overbearing.  Remarkably intelligent, having put himself through law school while working full time in an endlessly demanding profession.  The only other Alpha Rafael knew who avoided all the age-old stereotypes was Olivia Benson, who he should have guessed would make room for an Alpha in a profession typically deemed unsuitable for them.  It required finesse, compassion.  Not traits typically attributed to them and yet he would choose Olivia to lead the department over any other officer in the city.  Besides, he really shouldn’t be trying to fit people into neat boxes - Rafael was the least compassionate Omega ever created, distinctly lacking in the kindness and caretaking instinct that other Omegas wore like decorated soldiers wore their medals.  

“Hey, I’m here.  Sorry I’m late,” Sonny declared from behind him, pulling Rafael out of his thoughts and into the present.  Where Sonny was rushing to meet him, hair windblown and cheeks red with cold.  “The Lieu had me drop some things off at your office.  Which, you know, I had to do because I couldn’t say I was on my way to meet you.  And work isn’t allowed tonight, so that file is on your desk.”

“The Bowers case?”

“In its entirety.”

“What did you find out from the nanny?” Rafael asked as Sonny hung his coat over the back of the barstool and unbuttoned his suit jacket.  “Did she confirm the cousin’s whereabouts in the house?”

“We said no work tonight.”

Rafael ignored his pointed look and continued, “So she didn’t.”

Sonny sighed, looking impatient.  

“No.  We’re going to take another run at her tomorrow once the nanny cam video is reconstructed.  Satisfied?”

“For now, at least,” he replied, giving a half-shrug.  “Are you?”

“Not yet,” Sonny told him, leaning over his stool to swipe a chaste kiss across Rafael’s lips.  It was over before it began and Rafael made a low noise of protest in the back of his throat when Sonny pulled away again.  “Mmm, better.  I’ve been thinking about that all day.”

Rafael had too.

But of course he’d rather die than say that.

“No wonder it takes you till I’m out of the office to get me your reports,” he groused in return.  “You’re daydreaming.”

“Don’t pretend you don’t like it,” Sonny laughed and finally sat next to him.  “Oh, they’re playing The Defender.  I haven’t seen that in years.  What’s good here?”

“The Defender?”

“Old Jet Li movie, kinda like The Bodyguard.”

“Hmm.”  Rafael looked up at the TV screen and saw an action scene in a mall and looked back down, uninterested.  “I’m here for the sashimi.  Not sure what you like so I can’t provide much of a recommendation beyond my own tastes.”

Sonny picked up the menu and peered over it for a few seconds, grimacing.  His scowl deepened and Rafael had to fight the urge to laugh at him.

“Problem?”

“Is sushi all they do here?”

“You’re joking,” Rafael marveled.  “I told you where we were going.  You couldn’t have mentioned that you didn’t like sushi?”

Shrugging, Sonny continued to peruse the menu while Rafael sat, baffled that Sonny would rather go hungry than tell Rafael he didn’t like his choice for dinner.  The polite idiot.  Still, the man’s face brightened at one particular find on the back of the menu so they ordered.  Rafael accepted the small pot of sake with thanks to the waitress and a deep scowl of disappointment when Rafael heard Sonny order chicken fried rice.

“You know you just ordered from the kid’s menu, right?”

Sonny grinned.

“Obviously.  That’s why I ordered two.”

Rafael looked skyward, shook his head as he filled two small porcelain cups with the rice wine and handed one to Sonny - who smelled it.  He picked up the delicate dish and rather than taking a drink, held it to his nose and made a face like he was getting ready to turn it down.  Waiting, daring Sonny to do something as childish as tell him it smelled bad, instead tipped the cup to his lips and tried a taste.  A taste that seemed to be less offensive than he expected originally, because the next drink was longer and Sonny gave it a begrudging nod as he set the cup back down.  

“Not bad,” he allowed and Rafael scoffed.  

“You act like I would try to poison you.”

“Now see, that depends.”

“On?”

“Whether or not you could read my handwriting on my last set of notes,” he replied and Rafael had to stifle a laugh.  

“I wouldn’t poison you, Carisi,” he said in return as he took a drink of his own sake, taunting smile firmly in place as he lowered the cup again.  “I would just send a note home on your shirt with a reminder for you to practice a little more in your free time.”

“Sonny.”

“What?”

“We agreed that you’d call me Sonny,” the man reminded him, seemingly immune to Rafael’s taunts now.  “Or have you forgotten that conversation?”

“No.  I haven’t,” he said and after a pause added, “Sonny.”

Mostly because it was less of a conversation than it was Sonny breathing onto the exposed skin on his neck, slim hands on his hips, asking Rafael to call him Sonny between achingly deliberate kisses while Rafael grew hard and tried to remember why he’d ever made a point of denying himself this in the first place.  

It was a difficult moment to forget - Rafael hadn’t quite managed in two weeks and neither had Sonny, if the shit-eating grin on his face was any indication.

“I hope you realize this is a game that doesn’t need to be played,” Rafael said and did his best to soften his expression.  It was easier than he thought it would be, looking at the man next to him.  “I think you and I both know that a date isn’t necessary to know where we stand.”

Where they stood being on the precipice of something a lot bigger than themselves, the beginning ahead of them the closest to a sure thing Rafael had ever felt in his life.

“Yeah, I know,” Sonny replied, the corner of his mouth threatening to turn up into a smile.  “Doesn’t mean I don’t want every bit of you I can get.”

“I suppose it’s too much to hope that you’ve forgotten about the rest of your ridiculous conditions for tonight,” Rafael shot back to cover just how much Sonny’s words had affected him.  Smirking, knowing full well that Sonny rarely forgot _anything_ \- much less the opportunity to glean information from an unwilling source.  

“My questions?” he laughed.  “Oh, no way.  I’ve been thinking about them all week.  Between outlawing work talk and getting a guaranteed answer to whatever I want, I’ll get to know the real Rafael Barba before I finish my kid’s meal.”

Snorting, Rafael shook his head minutely and looked back at the TV.

Within a few minutes their order was brought out and Rafael looked at his meal with the utmost satisfaction, greeted happily by the sight of deep reds, pale pinks, and vibrant coral shimmering under the overhead lights on the bar.  Rafael all but moaned, taking a tiny dish and filling it with soy sauce even as the spicy scent of ginger wafted up to meet him.  Now that his desire for another kiss had been fulfilled, Rafael wanted only for the thick haze of satisfaction that came after a good meal and the one in front of him then would more than suffice.  

“Okay, how in the hell can you eat that?” Sonny asked, gesturing to his salmon crudely with his chopsticks and effectively pulling Rafael from his culinary daydreams.  “Like, that looks terrible.  It smells terrible.  You’re eating raw meat.”

“You realize that’s what sashimi is, right?” Rafael replied, amused.

“Yes, I do realize that.  What I’m asking is how you could possibly want to eat it.”

“The flavor is good, it’s fresh.”  He dipped one corner of the fish into a delicate dish of soy sauce and brought it up to his mouth.  The fish felt silken on his tongue, cool and light even with the pop of salt from the soy.  "I like the texture.  It's... soft," he explained, still unhappy with the description even as Sonny raised his eyebrows, disbelieving.

"It's slimy.  Slimy, raw meat."

"No, it's tender.  I can tease it apart with my tongue."

Sonny stared, failing to add any additional commentary.

"What?" Rafael asked, looking over his shoulder.  "What is it?"

"Literally all I got from that was that you like teasing meat with your tongue."

Rafael rolled his eyes.

"Never mind.  I don't know why I bother."

“You said it, not me.”

“You’re a child.”

“You’re just saying that because I ordered off the kid’s menu,” Sonny replied with a smirk and Rafael hated himself for smiling back at him.

Well, he didn’t.

Not really.

Not anymore.

There was a long time when Rafael assumed that Detective Carisi’s attempts to contribute his opinions to legal discussions were no more than an Alpha doing a piss-poor job of asserting dominance in an area he had no business in.  His requests for confirmation looking for praise, not assurance.  It wouldn’t have been the first time an Alpha had tried to stomp on Rafael’s toes in the name of showboating, nor would it have been the last.  It was with that assumption that Rafael had initially recoiled from the detective’s ploys for attention, for praise.  Even then, though, he hadn’t quite been able to separate himself enough to withhold the sharp taunts or the lingering thoughts about sky blue eyes and flashes of silver hair.  

It took almost a year for him to realize that wasn’t the case - that Carisi didn’t give input because he thought he was smarter or knew better than Rafael.  It was because he wanted to help, wanted to be of use.  He wanted validation for his presence at SVU, a reason for Olivia to have stuck her neck out to have another Alpha on her team when it was clearly discouraged.  Rafael could respect that.  He didn’t know much about what it felt like to denied a position for being an Omega - they were typically revered, sought after for professions like his even though the majority were Betas - he did understand what it felt like as a scholarship kid at Harvard, trying to prove that he belonged there with everyone else.  

It was the beginning of the end for him.  Accepting Carisi’s motivations were the open door through which everything else was able to pour through.  First an easy appreciation for his looks, because Rafael had never attempted to deny that the younger detective was attractive.  Next a grudging respect for his intelligence, as clearly Carisi wouldn’t be nearly so quick on his feet without a brain to lead him in the right direction.  Finally, and most damning, Rafael had found himself admiring the man’s heart.  Not the flimsy, mostly metaphorical heart in which Rafael could project all his own hopes and fears.  But the real character that Rafael found in Carisi.  The strength, the resilience.  The kindness, the warmth.  The man who could comfort a child in crisis in one breath and arrest the guilty party in the next with hardly a blink in between - as though the actions were one and the same, giving solace and carrying out justice as best he was able.

How could Rafael have done anything but want him?

One moment he was enjoying the easy repartee between them and the next he looked for Carisi’s profile instantly upon entering the squad room, hoping to hear the singular accent beyond his office door.  A workplace attraction wasn’t new to Rafael by any means but it was the first time he’d been tempted to pursue it because he was more than aware of how Carisi felt about him.  He could sense it, could smell the pheromones that surrounded him when they spoke.  Attraction was never a secret in their world, not when all the denials in the world could cover how Rafael could sit a little closer than necessary and the scent of him would bloom in the air between them.

A scent that was as pervasive as ever as they sat close enough for their knees to touch every so often as they spoke.  When first Rafael had agreed to a date - because of _course_ Carisi would insist on a date rather than just falling into bed, much to Rafael’s dismay - he’d been concerned that they wouldn’t find anything in common aside from work.  A fear he’d let consume him enough to only talk about work on their first date despite Carisi’s numerous attempts to venture elsewhere.  Rafael had thought the date went well even with work discussion - probably because he enjoyed Carisi’s company no matter the circumstances - but since it was something they could have done at any other part in their relationship, Carisi pronounced it void.  Which led, of course, to Rafael spending another night in his bed alone despite knowing that Carisi would very much have liked to join him.

“I hardly know you, Rafael,” he’d said, eyes smiling.  “What kind of guy do you think I am?”

“In what universe do you not know me?” Rafael had asked him, flustered by the fact that Carisi’s fingers were still drifting up and down his side.  “You’ve worked with me for going on three years.  That’s all there is to know.  Unless you want the journal I kept when I was nine.”

“You used to keep a journal?” Carisi had asked, clearly surprised enough to stop torturing him with glancing touches.  “Now see, _that’s_ the kind of stuff I want to know.  Next time.”

“Next time?”

“Yeah, next time.  Because on a real first date I like to know a little bit more about them than I currently know about you so this one doesn’t count.”

“Doesn’t count?!” Rafael had cried.  “What the hell does that even mean?”

“It means you get to pick where we go next time.”

“And what’s the threshold for this date being valid?” Rafael asked sarcastically.  “Do I need to tell you my life story?  Darkest fear?  The recurring dream I had when I was a sophomore in high school?”

“I know you’re being an ass but I actually do want to know those things.  Eventually,” he added when Rafael scowled.  “Before then I’ll settle for three questions of my choosing.”

“What am I, the Sphinx?  A fortune teller?”

“Nah.  You’re the guy I’ll see in the morning and pretend not get insanely aroused by,” he replied, supplying him with a wink and a parting kiss, a kiss that was enough to leave Rafael buzzing for the rest of the night.  It was also enough to distract him from snarking about whether or not there will _be_ a second date but really, they both knew better.  “Night, Rafael.  Think about next time.”

He really was ridiculous.

Rafael hated himself for loving it.

Not really, but the point remained.

“So, if you get three questions, do I get three questions?” Rafael asked pointedly as he poured himself another cup of sake.  “Or are you going to be hypocritical as well as ridiculous?”

“You don’t need three questions,” Sonny answered with a smile.  “Look at me, I’m an open book.  I’ll tell you anything you want to know.  You’re a book with teeth that slams shut if you look at it too long.”

“What kind of books have you been reading?”

Sonny grinned.

“The only ones worth the effort.”

Rafael rolled his eyes and took another sip from his cup.  “Alright, then.  Question number two.”

“Number two?!” Sonny cried.  “I haven’t even gotten my first!”

“You asked how I could eat sashimi.”

“Oh, come on,” Sonny lamented and Rafael didn’t quite manage to suppress his smile.  “Your diet choices don’t count.  Don’t be difficult.”

“I’ve never been anything but difficult.  I’m not sure what you expected.”

“Okay, yes,” he allowed, but Rafael could tell that wasn’t the end of the argument, “But this is way beyond splitting hairs and you’re only doing it to get a rise out of me.  Therefore I want it stricken from the record and a fresh start.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Yeah, you said that already.”

“Fine,” Rafael sighed, putting down his chopsticks and turning ever so slightly to face him.  “First question.  Make it count.”

“What’s your favorite color?”

“That’s what you want to know?” Rafael couldn’t help the scathing tone that slipped out.

“Yeah.”

Rafael couldn’t stop the long-suffering sigh that escaped his lips. “Burgundy.”

“So, red?” a teasing grin spread across the younger man’s face.

“What’s yours?” The roll of Rafael’s eyes could be seen from across the room. “Yellow?”

“Blue, actually,” the Alpha corrected, clearly amused with himself.

Rafael just raised the cup of sake he was drinking and took a long sip before putting it back down and pressing Sonny to continue. “And your second question? My shoe size? How has my day been?”

Sonny slouched back in his chair and made an exaggerated show of pretending to stew over the possible questions he could ask as though he hadn’t spent the day plotting. All too soon a smirk crept across his handsome features, he leant forward slowly, picking up his rice wine and taking another sip.

“What would you do if you won the lottery?”

“Really Sonny?” Rafael slowly cocked his brow as he scoffed, unable to keep gentle sarcasm from creeping into his tone. “How can I eat this? What’s my favourite color? What would I do if I won the lottery? You’re asking such hard-hitting questions.”

“Which you still haven't answered,” Sonny said pointedly and the smirk hadn’t left his features.

Rafael rolled his eyes before proceeding. “If I won the lottery? I’d take a well deserved vacation-”

“Somewhere warm?” the Alpha interrupted. “I can see you on a beach, drink in hand, relaxing. Or maybe somewhere classically romantic, like France.”

Rafael tried to suppress the thought of espresso in Paris - perhaps not even alone - and instead let his lips tip into a satisfied smirk.

“You just wasted another question.”

Sonny countered instantly, grin not faltering for a second.

“Doesn’t count if it’s just an extension of the previous one. It’s a follow-up, not a new line of inquiry. Trust me counselor, you’ll know when I’m asking my final question.”

“For someone who banned work talk this is feeling a lot like work.”

“You saying I’m work, counselor?” Sonny asked, accepting the check and handing his credit card over.  Rafael didn’t argue this time, though he’d won the argument last week.

“You, Carisi?” he snarked and polished off the rest of his sake.  “Never.”

“I’m wounded.”

“I can tell.  You look positively devastated.”

Sonny looked positively _delighted_ , signing the check with an impatient scrawl with one corner of his full lips quirked up in a smile.  It surprised him, how fun this was.  The banter, his grudging attempts to bemoan the tide of the conversation and the maturity of his date.  Grousing was his natural state but tonight it was nothing but a front, something he had to do to keep Sonny from seeing how much he was enjoying himself - although, it was likely Rafael wasn’t fooling either of them.  Especially considering how Sonny felt so comfortable sitting close, thighs brushing.  The scent of Sonny’s attraction was back in the air between them, sweetening every breath.  

“Are you attached to the decor here?” Rafael asked and Sonny shook his head.  

“Not especially.  Why?”

“I was just wondering if you wouldn’t prefer to ask your third question somewhere more private,” he suggested gently, watching as Sonny’s pupils dilated a fraction.  “My apartment, if you’re comfortable with that.”

“Yeah,” Sonny said, grin widening.  “Yeah, I can do that.”

They left the restaurant with a bright, humming tension between them.

Sonny was solid and warm, walking just behind him.  Close enough for Rafael to reach back and take his hand if he were so inclined.  Which he was, of course, but not enough to filter down the heady sense of anticipation between them.  Rafael let his thoughts turn to the moment after they were through his door, to the moment they were alone and he was at the mercy of the man throwing off pheromones strong enough to block the scent of everything else they passed.  Rafael couldn’t smell the rain lingering in the air, the smells of other restaurants with their doors open.  The only thing invading the olfactory region of his brain was the dark, musky scent of just how much Sonny wanted him.

Wanted him enough to step closer.

Wanted him enough to wrap his arm around Rafael’s waist, fingers pressing insistently into his side.  Over his jacket, over the vest beneath it.  It was only wishful thinking but still Rafael imagined that he could feel those fingertips on his skin.  Hot, impatient.  Waiting for the first opportunity to wander without the impediment of clothing.  It was an image he didn’t mind clinging to, especially when Sonny leaned even further in and pressed his lips to the sensitive stretch of skin behind his ear.  Breathed on the hint of moisture left, turning it cool even as the rest of his skin flushed and heated under the attention.  Sonny’s teeth scraped their blunt edges over the delicate shell of his ear and it was a wonder Rafael didn’t miss a step and fall, even as he realized that he’d missed the words whispered in Sonny’s low voice.

“What?” he asked again, ever so slightly tilting back to rest against the hard plane of Sonny’s chest as though he needed it to stay upright.

“I said, we’re being followed,” Sonny repeated and the words jolted Rafael this time for a reason entirely other than desire.  “Do you trust me, Rafael?”

Rafael swallowed hard, nodded.

Could feel Sonny’s smile on his skin even if he couldn’t see it.

At least until the moment Sonny’s arm went tighter around him and a sudden pull sent them spinning into the darker haven of an alleyway.  Rafael’s back landed against the hard brick, damp with rain, and instantly Sonny crowded him further.  Nose to the thumping pulse in his neck, arms bracketing either side of his head as he leaned close and Rafael was met with another deep breath of the arousal swirling up from Sonny’s skin.  His head swam, his hips canted up.  He was too immersed in the feeling of being held close to notice that footsteps had followed them.

The rest of the world was pushed aside at the first glance of Sonny’s lips against his throat and then Sonny leaned back, eyes sparkling as he tipped his mouth forward to drink a kiss from Rafael’s lips.  Quick, heated enough that Rafael felt his gut lurch at the first taste of Sonny on his tongue.  Then Sonny pulled away, eyes not so mischievous now.  Tempered steel, blue fire as they took him in and appraised the way Rafael must look at the moment - winded, stunned.  Hungry.  Desperate enough to ask for more even in the open mouth of the alley where anyone could see them.

“Hold that thought,” Sonny whispered against his mouth and winked, “I’ll be right back.”

Rafael was instantly freezing once the heat of Sonny’s body had retreated from his own and even if the miserably cold weather hadn’t done it, the sight of someone else a few feet away would have.  A man.  An inch or two taller than him, Hispanic.  Smug smile firmly in place as he held the gun straight out from his body - perfectly in line with Rafael’s heart.  Even Sonny had frozen, clearly taken aback even if his grin hardly faltered.  No one might have noticed the change in him at all, but Rafael knew him.  Knew how his back straightened, how his shoulders tensed.  

How his hand immediately drifted to his hip, only to find that his badge and holster were missing - yet another consequence of the decision to ban work from their evening.

“You sure this is what you want to do?” Sonny asked amicably but Rafael could hear the undercurrent of tension in his voice.  

“Out of the way, _guero_ ,” the man ordered, “I’m not here for you.”

"Yeah, I get that, but I'm here.  Why don't you put that gun down and we can talk about this.  This isn't a situation that you want to be in, okay?"

“Oh?  How do you know?”

“Because no one wants to be in this situation.  Not really,” he said assuredly but Rafael could see the determination in the man’s eyes as he looked over Sonny’s shoulder.  “Do you need money?  I got enough for a couple of hot meals.”

It was a kind offer - a kind assumption, on Sonny’s part, that the man would be in need of help - but Rafael had instincts, too, and everything in him was screaming the opposite.  From the brand new, high-end sneakers on the man’s feet to the thick wool coat around his shoulders, nothing about him screamed _down on his luck_.  Neither would it have explained why the man in front of him followed them from the restaurant when there were dozens of victims between here and there that carried less risk than two presumably healthy adult males in their prime.  

“Yeah?  Well why don’t you go get one, then,” the man said and waved crudely with the weapon toward the mouth of the alley.  “I just want a word with your friend over there.  No reason you gotta be here for this.”

Heart hammering, Rafael felt his breath draw up short.  

A sound Sonny must have heard because he squared his shoulders, stood taller despite already having several inches on the man.  The Alpha knew now that this wasn’t an unlucky circumstance, a truly piss-poor case of the wrong-place-wrong-time.  For a quick moment Rafael considered telling Sonny that it was okay but the man didn’t give him a chance.

“Too bad, because here I am,” Sonny said, sauntering forward.  Ever so subtly shifting his stance to put himself between the man and Rafael.  “Any reason why you’ve got a gun pointed at a Manhattan ADA?”

He grinned, leveled the gun at Sonny instead and Rafael’s heart seized.

“And now a detective with the NYPD?” Sonny revised with hardly a blink.  Rafael could smell adrenaline now, though.  Stinging and acrid in the air, enough to chase away the musk of his arousal and sharpen the instincts telling him to lash out.  To run, to find safety.  Safety that wouldn’t be worth leaving the man in front of him to fend for himself.

“NYPD?” the man asks and Rafael can hear the slight catch in his voice - a surprise, finding Sonny there.  It shouldn’t have been.  Rafael worked with cops on a regular basis and it would be reasonable to assume there would always be one nearby.  

“That’s right.  Now, as far as plans go, I’m willing to bet this one is already blowing up in your face,” Sonny offered warmly, “So why don’t we call it a day and I’ll take that gun off your hands and you can make a run for it.”

“I got orders, man.  And I don’t run.”

“Really?  That’s a shame,” Sonny said and took a step closer, muscles tensed.  

Now the scent that wafted through the air changed into something darker - something perfumed, sweet to hide the danger beneath it.  An Alpha turned from amused to serious in the face of a threat.  The scent of a predator, circling.  The gunman’s eyes jerked up to meet Sonny’s and Rafael watched him take a quick step back against his will.  

“Because you can run,” Sonny said, low in his throat so that it reverberated as he ground the words out, “Or you can bleed.  Your choice.”

His would-be attacker had the chance to blink before Sonny’s hand shot out and grabbed the barrel of the gun, jerking it up so that when the finger on the trigger tightened and fired the weapon, the rounds went into the darkened sky rather than into a body.  Rafael watched, breathless, as the struggle commenced and Sonny strove for the upper hand.  Had he been more mindful, more in command of his senses, he might have seen fit to reach for the cell phone in his pocket or to cry out for help.  Instead he stayed mute and frozen, still against the wall where Sonny had crowded him close and kissed him senseless.  

Still, in a few seconds, it was over.  

The gun was in Sonny’s hand and he brought it down hard across the assailant’s jaw, resulting in a sick crack that made Rafael grind his teeth in sympathy.  He watched as the man stepped back, stunned, and crumbled to the damp concrete.  Sonny reached down, pressed two fingers to the pulse in his neck.  Unnecessarily, Rafael thought, because he could see the man breathing from where he stood.  His voice hadn’t quite come back when Sonny crouched low to rifle through the man’s pockets, looking for ID that he didn’t find.  Something in his coat pocket, though, made Sonny pause and Rafael stiffen in dread.

“Hey, Barba?”

His brows drew together, his frown deepened.  

Sonny’s use of his surname was as sure an indication at any that Sonny was back in work mode, functioning as a detective rather than the man who teased the shell of his ear with his teeth a few minutes before.

“What?” Rafael asked, bracing.

“I think I want to cash in that third question a little early,” Sonny told him and Rafael wished he could see his face to get a read on his expression.  

“Go ahead.”

“You got a pen pal I don’t know about?” Sonny asked, crouching over the unconscious man.  

Rafael balked, confused.  

“What are you talking about?  Of course not.”

Sonny turned, holding up a square of paper in his hand.

Not a square, Rafael realized as he took in the sight of his own face - a picture.  

Something sloppily snapped a few days before, when he was on the steps of the courthouse giving the press a statement on their most recent case.  As the photographers and cameras were all situated in the foreground of the picture, Rafael was willing to bet it hadn’t been taken by a member of the press.  So who would want a snapshot of him, and why would the man carrying it try and corner him and a police officer in a dark alley?  With a gun, no less.  

Rafael couldn’t help feeling like he already knew the answer.  

“I don’t like the look on your face,” Sonny said slowly, standing.  “What’s going on?”

Rafael cleared his throat.

“I need to talk to Olivia.”

 

**…**

 

“You _what_?!” Sonny cried, scandalized.  

His arms were crossed over his chest and his hip was jutted and the waistcoat Rafael had admired earlier in the evening was pulled tight but there was nothing attractive about Sonny Carisi in that moment, looking at Rafael like he was a petulant child rather than a grown man with a right to his own damn privacy.  Privacy that Rafael was at least self aware enough to admit was a front for something he wasn’t willing to address quite yet.  Until he was, temper would have to do.

He repeated with a sneer, “I said, I’ve been getting death threats.  I’m almost certain you can hear me, Detective.”

“Oh, I can hear you alright.  I can hear you admitting to keeping something as serious as threats on your life a secret, like an idiot.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Olivia said, standing up from her desk and situating herself between them.  She spared a curious glance in Rafael’s direction before turning to Carisi with her hands raised, conciliatory.  As though Sonny would dare raise his voice to his boss.  “Carisi, I realize this has been a difficult night, but I’m sure Barba has his reasons for keeping this to himself.”

She leveled dark eyes on his with a pleasant smile.

“Like a death wish.”

Rafael rolled his eyes so hard he might have torn something and crossed his arms over his chest; armor against the eyes looking to tear him down, to make him admit to his supposed missteps.

“Or, and I do assure you both that this is the case, I get dozens of threats a year and the grand majority aren’t credible.  Until tonight I would have gone on thinking exactly the same way,” he spat derisively.  

“And you would have been wrong,” Olivia pointed out - very unhelpfully.

That wasn’t something he was addressing just yet, either.

“When did they start?” Sonny asked, single-minded.  “How?”

“They started with hang-ups on my cell.  Once every few weeks at first, which I didn’t think much about.  Then the calls increased until it was once or twice a day.  I blocked numbers but it didn’t matter, they would always start up again,” he replied, crossing his arms over his chest.  

“Hang-ups?  That’s it?”  Sonny looked dubious.  

“No.  A few months ago someone starting speaking on the other end.  Voice disguised, electronic-sounding.”

“What did they say?” Olivia asked, sitting next to him on the couch.  Voice soft, eyes expressive.  Rafael was well aware he was being handled and tried not to stiffen against it.

“Just the typical unimaginative drivel,” he reported blandly.  “I know where you live, you’re going to pay.”  He swallowed, averted his eyes from Sonny’s as the piercing blue threatened to unravel him.  “They asked if anyone would notice when I’m gone.”

Rafael pointedly left out the observation that came with that last one.

It had started out with them calling attention to the fact that Rafael was alone for most of his day.  Alone almost always, if he wasn’t at work.  He was sure it was meant to highlight the fact that there would be no one around to help if he needed it, no one to stop them from killing him, but mostly what it did at the time was make him wonder what the point was to spending your life alone if all you were going to get for it was murdered.

 _No Alpha,_ the voice had tsked over the phone regretfully, as though Rafael’s unbonded state was a real shame.   _No one to protect you..._

“That it?” Sonny asked again but his voice was different now.  Lower, affected.  Sounding very similar to the version of himself who had offered to make a man bleed in a dark alley while still unarmed.   “Did they say anything else?”

“I stopped answering,” he replied, clearing his throat.  “Didn’t see the point in listening anymore.”

_Didn’t want to hear how right they were._

“Has anyone approached you?” Olivia asked now.  “Outside of phone calls, I mean.  In person, by your office or your apartment?”

He shook his head.  “No, this is the first time anyone has ever shown up in person.  That I know of, anyway.  Before tonight I wouldn’t have expected them to.”

“So, what?” Sonny asked incredulously, “You think those were just some harmless prank calls?”

“I told you, I’ve gotten threats before.  I’ll get them again.  Part of the job,” he said bitterly, even as his logical mind argued that an actual attempt on his life was terrifyingly new.

“And if they stopped being threats?” Sonny shot back, clearly miffed by Rafael’s refusal to come crying to him at the first one call.  “What about what happened tonight?  Was that just a threat, too?”

“Obviously not,” he snapped waspishly, “And you can consider it duly reported.”

Sonny was so clearly not happy but he couldn’t bring himself to care, not when his heart was still beating too heavily and his palms were clammy.

“You could have died,” Sonny told him, imploringly, and Rafael wasn’t in the mood for this.  For the reminder of what he already couldn’t stop thinking about.

“Well thank God I had Staten Island’s finest to be my bulletproof vest,” he says, cutting his eyes at the man.  Rafael had to look away to hide the sick slide of something low in his gut at the words.  He looked at Olivia instead, who still didn't look happy but at least every look wasn't a condemnation. “Did you know about that?  I’m sure your detective told you how he stepped in front of a gun, right?  Tried to wrestle it away?”

“Carisi isn’t the one in question here,” Olivia replied dryly.  

“So I’m being questioned?” he marveled.  “Sure you don’t want to put me in an interrogation room?  Should I call Calhoun to get down here?  Typically I’d love to ruin her evening but this seems a little petty, even for me.”

He sounded shrill.

He knew he did, could hear the mounting tension in his voice that bordered on hysterical and hated himself for allowing it, but couldn’t do much to prevent it.  Especially as Olivia’s eyebrows raised in surprise and she looked like she wanted to tell him to knock it off.  For a moment he wished she would, then he could at least have a reason to leave.  She didn’t take the bait, though, and he turned to Sonny to see what he could provoke there but was stopped instantly upon noticing the softness in the man’s eyes.  The look that suggested he knew exactly why Rafael was acting this way and it had nothing to do with any actual outrage.

Sonny could see that he was afraid.

That made it so much worse.

“Counselor-”

“No,” he said viciously and finally stood, neglecting to even get his coat from the back of the couch, “You don't get to look at me like that, like I’m worthy of your pity.  So you can all enjoy interrogating the _actual_ suspect here and I'm going home.”

“Barba, listen-”

“Rafael, don’t-”

Olivia looked at Sonny, shocked, and Rafael kept his face purposefully blank.

To his credit, Sonny didn’t flinch.  Didn’t cower, even under the gaze of a woman as intimidating as Olivia Benson.  He just met her head on and stood his ground, face even and unbothered, which probably would have been an attractive quality in the man had the moment not been exactly the wrong place at the wrong time.  For the dozenth time that night, Rafael wished to be literally anywhere other than her office in that particular moment.  Under the microscope as she looked slowly back and forth between them and the wheels turned and pieces clicked neatly into place.

“Carisi?”

“Yeah, Lieu.”

“Why did you happen to be with Barba tonight?”

Rafael closed his eyes.

_Please say work, please say work, please say-_

“We were on a date.”

Goddamn it.

“A date?” Olivia repeated, clearly taken aback.  “Do the two of you do that often?”

“No,” Rafael interjected, “And it’s a mistake I won’t be repeating.”

The barb should have drawn blood but Sonny just scoffed and shook his head, looking to his lieutenant with a seemingly endless well of patience for the man currently sniping his way around an office full of people who only wanted to help him.  It only infuriated him more, his ire being so easily dismissed.  

“Listen, Lieu, circumstances aside - we got no reason to think this is going away anytime soon, and we got an Olympic-sized suspect pool,” Sonny started candidly and Rafael ground his teeth together.  “They’ve escalated already, going from hang-ups to threats to making contact.  Bringing a weapon, even knowing their target worked with police and was likely to be around them at any given point.”

“I agree.”  Olivia sighed and the apologetic look in her eyes made Rafael’s blood run cold.  “I’ll get on the phone, see what I can get set up in the way of a protective detail.”

His jaw dropped.

“You can’t be serious.”

“About a threat on your life?  A credible one?” Olivia asked pointedly, scoffing.  “You’re damn right I’m serious.”

“I have a private life, you know,” he seethed, “Meager as it may seem, it’s mine and I have a right to it.”

“I know that, Rafael.  And I know where you’re coming from,” she replied, voice gentle but eyes hard and unflinching.  “But if you think your privacy is worth more to me than your life you’ve got another thing coming.”

He needed another tactic.  One that inspired compassion, one that would let him talk his way out of this.  

“Liv-”

“Lieu, I’d like to run point on this,” Sonny said and if looks could kill the man would be a pile of viscera with a badge with the daggers Rafael was staring at him.  “Fin and Rollins can start investigating the calls, I’ll interview the guy in the Tombs.  Stay with Barba until we’ve gone through personnel files and selected a security detail.”

“And I suppose you’ll want to handpick them,” she offered with knowing smile.  “Fine, do it.  He’ll hold overnight and I’ll call Carmen to ask for whatever she’s collected in hate mail over the last year.”

“What makes you think I’ve gotten hate mail?” Rafael asked and she graced him a sardonic tilt to her grin.

“Just a guess, counselor.”

He gave her a withering look that did nothing to interrupt the plans she and Sonny were making together, exchanging instructions for how best to proceed with ruining his life.  Whatever comfort he should have been taking in this was lost to the thought of patrol officers rifling through his things, walking him to work.  Sitting outside his door all night, taking up his office couch when all he wanted was to stay way too late to work on opening statements.  

Screaming would have been melodramatic but it didn’t stop him from wanting to.

“Alright, the lab is tracing the serial numbers on the gun right now but I’m not expecting anything to turn up tonight,” Sonny started, running his hand over his face.  “That’s pretty much the only lead we have at the moment, unless he starts singing to the overnight crew.”

“I don’t think he’s going to be singing anything for a while,” Liv replied, “His jaw is pretty bruised up.”

“He’s lucky that’s all he’s got to complain about,” Sonny replied and any other time Rafael would have scoffed in disbelief but now he knew what the Alpha looked like in a fight, what he _smelled_ like on the hunt, and Rafael didn’t doubt for a minute that Sonny could have done much worse than he did.  

“Go home, both of you.  Get some rest.  I’ll call you if I hear anything.”

“Yeah, sure thing,” Sonny agreed and turned to Rafael, who was still staring at the other two with contempt in his eyes.  “You ready to go?”

“Does that matter, all of a sudden?” he asked and didn’t miss the wounded look that passed over Sonny’s face.  “That’s what I thought.  Goodnight, Lieutenant.”

“Rafael-” she started but it was too late.  He’d already turned on his heel and left the room, only just remembering to grab his coat on the way out.  

Footsteps followed behind him, the gait of someone with legs longer than his.  It wasn’t hard to imagine Sonny chasing him, hand outstretched to catch his arm.  Brow furrowed, full mouth open in argument.  Ready to comfort, ready to explain.  Ready to make Rafael feel safer, more content with the fact that he’d just surrendered his private life to the mercy of a handful of cops he didn’t even know.  

And Rafael would fall for it.

He would turn around, allow himself to be touched.  Allow himself to be pulled into the circle of Sonny’s arms.  He would crumble, would let on just how much this had managed to shake him.  He would take one look at the earnest expression on the Alpha’s face, would take in the scent of his affection for Rafael, and he’d succumb.  If Rafael turned around, it would all be over.

So he didn’t.

“That overbearing Alpha shit may work in the heat of the moment,” he snarled as he walked, “But it’s not going to work with me.  Ever.”

When he faced Sonny the man was frozen in place, eyes wide.  

"That's not what I'm doing," he said and Rafael was surprised by just how vulnerable his voice sounded.  If he were even a little less angry he would have gone to him, to kiss the wounded look from his face and take the words back.  "Rafael, this isn't anything like that."

“The hell it isn’t,” he spat instead, finally stopping in his escape to face the man he intended to injure.  “You disarm a suspect - you do your _job_ \- and now you get to march around your lieutenant’s office, ordering me around.  Taking over my life like it’s your place, which it _isn’t_ .  Whatever one date means in your head, it means something different in mine.  It means _nothing_.”

"It isn't about the date, I'm not doing this because of us.  I'm supposed to protect you.  It’s my job, no matter what you happen to think about that right now.”  The words were disingenuous at best, sounded entirely hollow, and they stung like a blade across Rafael’s skin anyway.  Sonny stepped closer, pitching his voice a little quieter, for Rafael's ears only.  "Look, I know you're rattled.  Anyone would be, I would be, and everything feels really out of control.  I promise you I'm not trying to take over your life.  I'm on your side."

“My side?” Rafael questioned, incredulous.  “Don’t talk to me like one your suspects, Carisi.  I’m not here for you to manipulate information out of.”

“That’s not-”

“I’m going home,” Rafael announced and turned away again, heading for the elevator.  “Don’t feel like you have to join me.”

 

**…**

 

Sonny did, of course.

After a pause he grabbed his coat, tossed it around his shoulders, and followed Rafael out of the squad room without another word.

Rafael spent the ride home mired in guilt.

Regretting the harsh way he’d spoken to the man who’d put himself between Rafael and the barrel of a gun.  Even livid over the direction his life had turned, even afraid of what the future held for him, Rafael’s mind couldn’t let it rest.  Couldn’t let go of the remorse, thinking of Sonny’s stunned face and the way he sat as far away from Rafael as he could on the drive.  His face never brightened, he never spoke, even as they pulled to the front of Rafael’s building and they rode the elevator side by side.

It occurred to him, of course, that this was where they’d been heading before the evening had turned for the worse.  

In a perfect world they would have ridden the elevator tangled up in each other, breathing the same air and high on the possibilities.  Rafael would have fantasized about freeing Sonny of his layers of clothing, would have fixed his lips to the quickening pulse in Sonny’s neck, telling him in a low voice all the ways he’d imagined this going in the years since he’d first laid eyes on him.  

Desperate enough to brave abrasive burns on the carpet on the other side of his door, too impatient to make it to the bed.  

Languid and indulgent on his couch, Rafael riding him slow and sure until he saw stars behind  his eyes and until Sonny tilted his head back and gasped his release into the still air of his living room.

Tossing and turning on his bed.

Sheets tangled, clinging to their skin as sweat slicked every kiss and every glide of flesh as they spent the night chasing their high.

Of course, the reality would be different now.  

Different because someone had marked Rafael for death, different because he’d been lucky enough to have Sonny there when it happened.  And instead of thanking him had thrown his own nature in his face, knowing full well when he did it that it wasn’t Sonny’s nature that had insisted on security detail.  It wasn’t a power play to make him miserable.  It was protocol, and it was the fact that Sonny wanted him to live.  Inexplicably, he felt now, after the way Rafael had treated him.

Rafael let them both into his apartment and Sonny took no time to admire, despite the fact that Rafael was proud of his view.  Despite the fact that none of his other colleagues had ever set foot in his home, with the exception of Carmen to bring him files when he was home with a migraine.  Instead Sonny took off his coat and hung it on the rack a few feet away.  He spied a small chair in Rafael’s breakfast nook and picked it up one-handed, opening the door again and taking the chair outside to situate it outside.  

“I’ll be out here if you need something,” Sonny told him, voice and expression carefully blank, and Rafael withered a little more.  

“You don’t have to,” he said and was embarrassed at how thin his voice sounded.  

“What was that?” Sonny asked and Rafael cleared his throat.

“I said you don’t have to stay outside,” he reiterated and could only imagine the horror on his grandmother’s face if she could see him now.  She’d been the type to ensure guests took her bed while she slept on the couch, even into her eighties.  And now Rafael was making someone he cared for feel so unwelome he’d rather spend the night in the hall.  “I don’t have a guest room, I’m sorry.  I converted it to an office years ago.”

Because no one ever stayed with him, although he neglected to mention that.

Sonny didn’t reply but he did move the chair back inside, putting it back where he found it and closing the door behind him.  Locking it, throwing the deadbolt into place and turning to face him with his lips pursed, fine lines of tension around his eyes.

"I wasn't exactly planning on doing much sleeping," Sonny told him, and if possible, Rafael felt even worse. "I'm not sure I'd be able to sleep anyway."

“Sonny, I-”

“I wanna take a look around, if that’s okay,” he interrupted and Rafael shut his mouth.  Quickly, so as not to embarrass himself further.  “Is there any way to get in other than the door?”

“A fire escape in my office,” he confirmed.  “Here, I’ll show you.”

Slowly, thoroughly, Sonny took in his living space.  

Not because he wanted to know or because Rafael had extended an invitation to, but because it was now his job.  He treated it as such, professional and purpose-driven.  Rather than admiring Rafael’s books or the range Rafael was sure he’d love - there was even a setting for pizza, not that Rafael had ever tried it - he locked every window and assessed how easily they could be pried open.  He closed window treatments and talked dispassionately about motion alarms.  

Rafael would rather Sonny yelled at him.

“I’m sure this is pretty self-explanatory,” Sonny announced after they’d finished, “But let me know if anyone calls from one of those blocked numbers.  If you want to go somewhere let me know and I’ll go with.  Any visitors need to be put on a list so we know to expect them.”

“There won’t be any,” Rafael said, meeting his eyes long enough to catch the flicker of sorrow across Sonny’s face.  “My mother is my only family, and I’ll be calling her to let her know to keep her distance for a while.”

“No friends, no…” Sonny grappled for another group of people Rafael didn’t have and he spared him a wan smile.

“No gaggle of sisters to drive me crazy?” Rafael inferred and shook his head.  “I’m an only child.  It’s just me.”

And until Rafael had taken stock he hadn’t realized how true that was.

Sonny nodded, looked away.  

It occurred to Rafael that he was showing more of himself by admitting this than he had showing Sonny the entirety of his home, as impersonal and spartan as it was.  

“It’s not anymore.”

Rafael blinked.

“I’m sorry?”

Sonny’s eyes were direct, softened again from the austere professionalism he’d maintained all night.  

“It’s not just you anymore,” he elaborated.  “We’re all here for you.   _I’m_ here for you.”

Just a few words and the snarl of tension in Rafael’s chest loosened.

He nodded, looking down and taking a deep breath.

“It’s late.  Let me get you set up for the night,” he said and retreated to the linen closet in the guest bathroom, leaving Sonny and his endless affection behind before he could find a way to ward that off, too.  

His arms were piled with pillows and blankets when he returned to the living room only to drop them at the end of the couch.  

“It doesn’t fold out but it’s comfortable,” he told Sonny.  “I’m not sure what I have but it’s possible some of my clothes might fit you-”

“This is fine,” Sonny interrupted with a small smile.  “I’m not picky and this wouldn’t be the first time I slept in this suit.  Rollins is relieving me in the morning and I can bring some stuff back with me next time.”  He paused, looking at Rafael from the corner of his eye as he situated the pillow and spread out the blanket.  “If you’re still okay with that, anyway.”

“Yeah, of course.”

He should apologize.

Should tell Sonny that he was a selfish, jaded ass who didn’t know how to accept what Sonny was offering him so willingly.  

Instead he told Sonny where the coffee pot was if he happened to be up first and that there were fresh towels in the guest bathroom if he wanted a shower in the morning.

“I got it,” Sonny assured him, taking his jacket off and reaching for the holster and badge at his hip to lay them on the coffee table.  “I’ll find my way around.”

Rafael nodded, turned to go back toward his room.  Imagined how he’d even manage to fall asleep after the night he’d had.  Knew he wouldn’t be able to.  He’d spend the night staring at the ceiling again, counting all the ways tonight could have gone differently.  Had Sonny not been there when the hired gun found him, had Sonny failed.  It would be a long night of Rafael causing his own heart to race, his own mouth to dry.  A long night of wondering how many more ways he could find to sabotage himself.  

“Goodnight, Rafael,” he heard behind him just as he reached the door to his bedroom.  He turned and Sonny was watching him again, expression open for the first time since he pulled Rafael into that alley.  “Get some sleep, alright?  I’ll be here.”

Rafael nodded, closed his door behind him.

Undressed, fell into bed.  Unconsciously stayed to the right side as though it mattered.

He fell asleep with Sonny’s voice in his head and the sound of soft snoring from the next room in his ears.


	2. Apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael woke as the sun was rising, close to an hour before he really needed to. At first he couldn’t figure out why but then he took in his first deep breath and a scent entirely new to his apartment flooded his senses. 
> 
> Alpha, his brain supplied. Sonny. 
> 
> He drank it in a little deeper. Deep enough for a hot coil of want to form in his gut, for his skin to tingle, and for his brain to stumble upon the reason said Alpha was in his home. 
> 
> Someone wanted him dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the terrific response to the first chapter - power-bottom-barba and I were floored and couldn't wait to get chapter two out. Many thanks to Robin Hood and barbaxcarisi for the beta and for being ridiculously enthusiastic cheerleaders to two writers who occasionally crave praise like oxygen because we are weak and pathetic and they love us anyway. <333
> 
> power-bottom-barba would like to say the following: "We hope you like it. Please feed us with praise and validation."
> 
> AHumanFemale would like to say the following: "All genius contained below is my co-author. I just did some exposition and slapped my name on it like a scrub."
> 
> We hope you all enjoy. Buckle up, y'all - this is stupidly long. Again.
> 
> xoxo, p-b-b and ahf.

**Chapter Two - Apologies**

 

Rafael woke as the sun was rising, close to an hour before he really needed to.  At first he couldn’t figure out why but then he took in his first deep breath and a scent entirely new to his apartment flooded his senses.  

 _Alpha_ , his brain supplied.   _Sonny._

He drank it in a little deeper.  Deep enough for a hot coil of want to form in his gut, for his skin to tingle, and for his brain to stumble upon the reason said Alpha was in his home.  

Someone wanted him dead.

Well, plenty of people probably did.  But this time someone was doing their best to make good on it.  An accomplishment that would have come to pass had the Alpha in the next room not been with him at just the right time.  

The Alpha he’d then accosted, accused of malicious intent.  Of overstepping, despite the fact that he’d saved Rafael’s life an hour before.  The Alpha who had stuck around anyway, protecting his home.  Protecting _him,_ despite there being nothing inside Rafael worthy of Sonny’s protection.  Nothing in him that warranted the affection Sonny obviously felt for him, as judged by the man’s presence on Rafael’s couch.  On a guest pillow, covered in a thin blanket, because someone wanted to hurt Rafael.  

Tossing the blankets back, Rafael climbed out of his bed.

Went to the bathroom, brushed his teeth.

Left his hair mussed and his undershirt wrinkled, sweatpants rumpled from sleep.  

He pulled his bedroom door open and let his eyes fall on the Alpha still on his couch, bent over tying his shoes.  Shirt open, hair still damp from the shower.  His scent was stronger here, mixing with the fresh smell of whatever soap he’d left in the guest bathroom.  Sonny looked up at him, surprised, and open his mouth to say something.

 _Good morning_ , maybe.

 _You’re an asshole,_ probably.

Either way, Rafael didn’t give him the chance.  

Pride firmly placed aside, heart in his throat, Rafael moved fast enough that Sonny was too taken aback to stop him from coming to stand in front of him, between his parted knees.  From taking his face in both of Rafael’s hands and leaning down to take Sonny’s lips with his own.  Brief, fleeting.  Several in the space of a long minute, until he felt Sonny melt into him.  Wrapping long arms around his middle, pulling him down into his lap.  Rafael caged Sonny’s hips in between his thighs as he settled, still taking kisses from lips just parted to let him in.  Strong arms stayed wrapped around him, pulling tighter.  Holding him closer as Rafael tasted the cool mint on Sonny’s breath and felt the first roll of his hips upward.

Rafael was trying.

 _I’m sorry_ , he thought as he buried his fingers in Sonny’s hair and pulled.  

 _I didn’t mean any of it_ , he pleaded as Sonny tilted his head up for more.

 _You mean more to me than I could ever tell you_ , he swore as he levered his hips down and felt the hard line of Sonny’s erection against his own.  

The arousal was secondary.

Secondary because Rafael could live in this kiss for the rest of his life and never utter another complaint.  Sonny was hard and strong under him, his scent heavy in the air as Rafael captured every sigh and drank it in.  

This was him, he thought as he tilted his head the opposite way and felt Sonny follow.  

He was an asshole.  

A pedantic, mouthy asshole whose first instinct would always be to lash out rather than feel.  He would flinch away, he would draw blood with the tip of his tongue.

But then he would kiss it away again.

He would always come back, would always apologize.  He would smooth the abrasions caused by his rough edges with the tips of his fingers, the length of his body.  There would never be a time he wouldn’t bring himself back to the hold of Sonny’s arms, pliant and remorseful and more than willing to offer himself in exchange for another chance.  Another opportunity to earn the forgiveness Sonny was bestowing on him in the form of long kisses and the drag of fingers up the column of his spine.

“Oh, _God_ ,” Sonny said finally, panting against Rafael’s mouth.  “God, Raf.  You smell so good.”

“You’re just saying that because I’m in your lap,” Rafael said breathlessly and Sonny huffed a laugh.  

“Nah,” he dismissed and snuck another long kiss.  “This your version of an apology?”

_You think?_

“Yes,” he said instead.  “Yes it is.”

_I was scared, I was angry.  I lashed out because you care too much and that’s almost more terrifying than the thought that someone wants to kill me._

“Does that mean I don’t get to hear you say it?” he asked, eyes playful even as his pupils were blown wide and the smell of his arousal had permeated the apartment.  

Rafael rolled his eyes but pressed a series of firm kisses to the swollen pout of Sonny’s lower lip.  

“I’m sorry,” he said and nipped the skin - softly, not enough to be painful.  “About the things I said, about the way I acted.  I know you’re just trying to help and I’m sorry I used that against you.”

"It's alright," Sonny said, forgiving him far more easily than he deserved.  "I know you're scared.  It's understandable, to get defensive." Sonny's hands slid from his hips down to his ass, strong and supporting more of his weight than he needed.  It made him feel more secure than he cared to admit.

"I'm not trying to take over your life or take anything away from you." Full, kiss bruised lips smiled against his mouth.  "Besides, I think you know that I like you bossing me, not so much the other way around."

Rafael huffed a laugh and kissed Sonny again, deeply, hungry to taste his mouth and to stop the teasing gentleness.  Sonny shouldn't accept Rafael's barbs and cruelty so easily, forgive him so readily.  He would only do it again.

The kiss dragged, and the heat between them grew, Sonny thrusting lazily up against him even as Rafael ground down against his lap, licking into his mouth.  When the kiss finally broke, Sonny's voice was thick with want.

"Just let me take care of you, Rafael.  You have to know what I want, to take care of you, to _protect_ you..."

"Shh," Rafael said, stopping his words with gentle kisses.  It was too much, the raw emotion, his words far too close to the truth that they had both been circling for too long.  "It's okay," Rafael soothed, as he slid a hand between their bodies.  "Let me touch you."

He would have, had a sharp, loud knock not split the air.

Rafael jumped.  

One moment his hand was brushing the hard length behind Sonny’s zipper and the next his heart was in his throat, his pulse racing for a reason other than want.  Sonny caught the whiplash change in his demeanor and held him tighter, mouth turning severe and his eyes growing worried even as his hand rubbed a small circle between Rafael’s shoulder blades.

“It’s Rollins,” Sonny said softly and Rafael deflated, letting loose a breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding.  “It’s just Rollins.  You’re alright.”

“I’m ridiculous,” Rafael swore, tilting his head forward until it rested against Sonny’s.  “Christ.  It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours.”

“Hey, look at me,” he said, lifting Rafael’s chin up with the side of his finger until he could see the entirety of the warm blue irises in front of him.  “You’re safe, I promise.  I’m not gonna let anything happen to you.”

Rafael scoffed to hide how his throat had threatened to close at the words.

“You’re just saying that because I’m in your lap,” he quipped and Sonny grinned.

“Maybe.  But I guess I’ll follow through anyway.”

The knock sounded again and this time Rafael hardly stiffened at all, annoyed mostly now that the spike of fear had worn off and he realized that in a moment he was going to have to climb off the man below him.  Still hard, still wanting.  Sonny was going to go into work and Rafael was going to spend his Saturday at home with Rollins clogging up his DVR with trashy television, showing him a new picture of her offspring every few minutes.  

“Carisi, Barba!” a distinct, Southern-accented voice called from the other side of the door.  “You gonna let me in or do I need to break the door down?”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Rafael growled under his breath and felt the soft shaking of Sonny’s laughter beneath him.

“She probably would.”

“She can wait.  Send her for coffee or something.”

“She’s my partner, not my personal assistant.  Make your own coffee,” Sonny chided but softened it with light kisses up Rafael’s jaw.  “You’ll have the chance here in a minute.  I’ve gotta go.”

“No you don’t.”

“I do, actually,” he said and carded long fingers through the hair at Rafael’s temple.  “Gotta go save the day, remember?”

“How could I forget?” Rafael sighed and spared one more kiss before standing up again and offering Sonny a hand to pull him from the couch.  “Any chance I could talk you into staying?”

“Not this time,” Sonny said mournfully but stepped close, fitting hands to Rafael’s hips.  “Tonight, though?  You could talk me into staying tonight.”

Rafael smirked.

“I look forward to it,” Rafael said and stole another quick kiss before walking out of the room and into the kitchen to get a hand on his coffee maker while Sonny took a few deep breaths and finished buttoning up his shirt.  Rafael watched from the corner of his eye as Sonny had to readjust himself and didn’t bother hiding his smile because the visual reminder of the effect Rafael had on him was almost as delicious as the man himself.

“Carisi!”

“Give me a minute, jeez!”

“Problem, detective?” Rafael asked with a sly smile as he pressed the brew button on his machine and soothing sounds of percolation began.  

“You, don’t start,” he said, pointing an authoritative finger in Rafael’s direction.  “This is your fault anyway.”

Rafael shrugged.  

“I can live with that.”

“Of course you can,” Sonny muttered under his breath and shook his head, taking his time buttoning his cuffs before reaching for the front door.  

He pulled the door open to reveal Rollins, looking annoyed with a cup of coffee in her hand and her hair tied in a knot at the top of her head.  She was dressed casually, in jeans and a sweater under her coat, reinforcing Rafael’s assumption that she was there to relax and take up space on his couch.  Still, her holster was on her hip and her badge was visible so it was possible she just wanted to be comfortable.

She stepped forward, inside just far enough from Sonny to close the door behind her before her face screwed up and she staggered back.

“Oh my _God_ , Carisi,” she swore, accusatory.  “No wonder you couldn’t get to the door.  It smells like a strip club in here.”

“Excuse me?” Rafael asked, affronted, even as Sonny flushed to the tips of his ears.  

“Morning, counselor,” she greeted as though she hadn’t just insulted his home.  “I would ask how your morning was but I’m pretty sure I already know.”

He spared her a droll look and turned away to pull a coffee mug from a cabinet, filling it and taking the time to splash some half and half into the strong black liquid.  He took a long drink and sighed as the caffeine lit up the nerve endings still clinging to sleep.  When he looked around again Sonny was putting on his coat and Rollins was taking hers off.  

“You good, Raf?” Sonny asked as he replaced his shield and holster.

He nodded.  “Fine.  Assuming Rollins can get her mind out of the gutter and focus on something more important.”

The woman snorted.  “That’s rich, coming from the guy with sex hair.”  Rafael scowled and she tilted her head to the side, smiling sweetly.  “Or should I say _almost_ sex hair?”

Glaring, he took another drink and changed his mind about offering her a cup of her own.  

“You two behave, I’m going to see if we can figure out who this guy is,” Sonny said and opened the door to let himself out.  “Try not to kill each other, please?  I really don’t want to come back to that tonight.”

“We’re good, Carisi,” she said emphatically, “Now go.  Call me if you find out anything.”

Sonny nodded and took off, closing the door behind him.  

Rafael drained his cup and set it on the counter beside the coffee pot, already making plans for another.

“The remote to the TV is on the coffee table, feel free to help yourself to anything in the kitchen,” he started and Rollins was still working to contain a smile.  He tried to act like he was impeccably dressed, that it didn’t bother him to find a coworker in his home while he was still dressed for bed.  “Sonny has already checked the apartment and locked everything down so I guess you’re stuck with me while I work.”

Rollins shrugged.  “No problem.  I can entertain myself just fine.”

“Fine.  If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take a shower.”

“Sure thing, counselor,” she said happily and collapsed on the couch, where a few minutes earlier Rafael had ground down onto Sonny’s clothed erection.  “I hear cold water is good for you in the morning.”

Squaring his shoulders, head held high, he left the kitchen without uttering another syllable.

 

**…**

 

Sonny came into the precinct already antsy.  He'd slept like shit, adrenaline high and worry even higher.  The argument between him and Rafael the night before had played on a loop, stopped only by Rafael's apology that morning.   His hot, handsy apology that kept Sonny's skin buzzing long after he'd caught a cab and headed in.  It was painful for him to leave Rafael with Rollins knowing where their morning had been headed but it was necessary because Rafael's life was more important than Sonny getting his rocks off.  They'd have all the time in the world for that once this was no longer hanging over their heads.

“Alright, I'm here,” he sighed as he marched into the squad room.  “We got anything new?”

“I'm headed over to see Carmen,” Olivia replied, coat already on even as Sonny took his off. “She's compiling a box of the hate mail and threatening phone calls made to the office over the last year and we're going to go through them together, see if anything pops up.”

“It requires an entire box?” Sonny asked, grimacing. Olivia only offered him an amused half-smile.

“Barba has made a career out of doing what's right, which means he's made a career out of pissing people off.”  She patted his shoulder and wrapped her scarf around her neck.  “We'll figure it out.  Call me if you come up with something.”

“Yeah, sure thing,” Sonny replied.  “Fin here yet?”

“He's setting up Barba's security detail.  Himself, with officers whose superiors have vouched for them and agreed to take the heat if anything happens.”

Sonny whistled low.  “Wow.”

“He may have made enemies but he's made friends too,” she remarked kindly and he took it for the assurance it was.  “There's a file on your desk about the gunman from last night.  Give it a look and wait for Fin before you talk to him.”

“Will do,” he replied and watched as she walked out of the squad room, looking for all the world like this was just another day at the office.  Either she wasn’t all that worried about Rafael or her poker face was world class, because Sonny would never have been able to tell that a close friend of hers was in danger.  

He wished he had the same composure, because he was about ready to go out of his mind as he poured a too-strong cup of coffee and headed back to his desk.

All his thoughts failed to coalesce as he took a long drink and sat down, Fin’s file on Rafael’s attacker sitting in front of him.  It was definitely him, though, Sonny thought as he looked at the mugshot paperclipped to the front.  The photo was recent, even, because he looked exactly the same as the man Sonny had knocked out the night before.  

Heredio, Felipe.

Age thirty-two, known lieutenant of the street gang BX9 - a group responsible for drugs, murder, assault.  Rape.  All the greatest hits, Sonny mused as he took a long drink from his mug and grimaced against the bitterness.  Felipe had a few drug charges, did a few months here and there for various assaults.  Nothing that screamed _hitman_ beyond the assumption that a gangbanger wouldn’t have a problem with it.  The list of known associates was long but littered with qualifiers like DECEASED and INCARCERATED SINCE ----.  His brother had been in Rikers for years, his father had died young while following the same path Felipe was on now.  No spouse, no children - that he claimed, at least.  No sign Felipe had ever done anything but follow orders, dropping out of school as a freshman and moving up from an errand boy in his early teens to a drug runner in his twenties and a senior officer now.  

A senior officer tasked with killing a Manhattan ADA.

Sonny had to wonder who he’d pissed off, because there was no way out of this for Heredio should he have accomplished his goal.  Killing Rafael would have resulted in a police presence much more significant than the norm, and even that failed to consider the warpath Sonny would have been on had the worst happened.  It would have resulted in a longer prison sentence, probably without the possibility of parole.  All the rest of Heredio’s life would have been gone, out the window.  Just like that.  As someone in a leadership position, why risk it?  Why not have one of the lackeys take the fall?  

His stomach careened around and he suppressed the urge to just go in the room and shake the answers out of the guy.  

Instead he forced himself to finish reading the lengthy file in the hopes that Fin would show up before he got any more restless than he already was.  His knee was bouncing under his desk, his fingers tapping a pen as he read.  Surely there was some uniformed offer in the vicinity who was ready to break his fingers but he couldn’t help it.  He had too much stress and worry building and nowhere to go with it.  Sonny looked at his empty coffee cup and frowned, unable to remember just when he’d finished it.

It was probably a bad idea, but it was better than waiting so he got up and went back to the break room for more.  Caffeine wouldn’t do a damn thing to help his mental state but it was something to do so he took his sweet time, brewing a new pot that didn’t taste burnt and waiting while it percolated.  In a moment the smell had permeated the small room and he had to cross his arms over his chest to keep from chewing on his fingernails - a habit he hadn’t engaged in since high school, when he used to bite them down to the quick during tests without even realizing it until the taste of copper drew his attention to it.

Sonny would be sure to tell Rafael that night that he made him feel like a teenager again.

When he filled his cup again and had cleaned the filter he was hoping to find the Sarge back at his desk but only found Heredio’s file, exactly where he left it.  It didn’t seem like Fin would be returning anytime soon, he admitted and scowled when his phone vibrated in his pocket.  Maybe the man himself, giving an ETA so they could get some answers.  It wasn’t Fin, though, he realized as he unlocked the screen and looked at the four messages he’d missed since going to the break room ten minutes before.

_I wish we’d had more time this morning._

_My whole apartment still smells like you._

_Can you still smell me on you?_

Sonny choked at the last message, flashing hot as his knees threatened to buckle.

_God, I can’t get enough of that scent.  It’s making my mouth water.  I want to taste you, see if you taste as sweet as you smell.  Would you like that?_

Sonny sat quickly, before his legs could give out.  He looked anxiously over both shoulders, as though someone would magically appear to read over them.  Rollins was with Rafael himself and Fin was still putting together Rafael’s security.  Olivia was with Carmen.  The only people around him were uniforms doing busy work because Thanksgiving was two weeks ago and it was still incredibly slow.  Still, this was a bad idea.  A bad idea that had his skin flushing red and his cock twitching behind his zipper.  

 **_Jesus, Raf,_ ** Sonny replied.   **_I’m at work._ **

_Is that a no?  I'll just have to keep my thoughts to myself.  All my thoughts about what you'll taste like and how hard you'll pull my hair when I take you deep._

Sonny sucked in a surprised breath and looked over his shoulder again, waiting to see either of his superiors walking in the door with accusatory stares.  Neither of them did, though, and his phone buzzed again.  

_You were so hard this morning, Sonny. I can almost feel that hard cock in my throat. Or would fucking my face not be enough for you?_

When he didn’t immediately answer, staring at the screen and being mostly unable to form sentences, Rafael took it on himself to continue.

_That's it, isn't it?  I could tell by the way you were moving your hips, thrusting up at me.  You want me on my back under you, legs up around your waist while you fuck me, is that it?  My head back, your teeth on my throat?_

Sonny did want that.

Sonny wanted that more than the much needed coffee on his desk, more than his next breath.  He wanted Rafael under him, around him, keening while Sonny fucked him hard and slow.  He would make it last, make it count.  Until Rafael would feel it for days, until he was begging Sonny to let him come.

_I want it, too.  Do you know how ready I am for you?  I've got two fingers inside myself now, thinking about your cock.  Should I add another?_

It was a mistake, he realized as his shaking thumbs summoned the keyboard.  It was a risk, an unprofessional one, but Rafael was still dark and smoky-sweet in his nose and he'd never quite recovered even as he forced out a single word reply.

**_Yes._ **

Sonny waited on bated breath while his message sent, when the time stamp appeared that told him Rafael had viewed the message.  Several long moments passed after that while Sonny’s heart thundered in his chest and he waited to see the three flickering dots that meant Rafael was replying.  When finally they did appear Sonny felt again like his skin was too tight to hold him, all buzzing energy and anticipation.  

 _Fuck, that feels so good,_ Rafael told him and Sonny’s vision darkened at the edges to think of Rafael finger fucking himself to thoughts of him.   _Thank you, Alpha._

“Shit,” Sonny whispered under his breath as he set the phone down and scrubbed a hand over his face.  If he was expecting the action to sober him up, to remind him of just what he was doing in the middle of his workday, he was sorely disappointed.  In a few seconds he was hard, straining against the thin fabric of his dress pants as he shifted in his chair.

_I knew you wanted this too.  Can you picture me, stretching myself open, fucking myself on my hand, wishing it was your cock inside me?_

Sonny was currently wishing he couldn’t picture it quite so well.

_You would be better than this, wouldn't you?  Work me open, fuck me hard the way I deserve?_

Sonny stood suddenly, grabbing his jacket to hold in front of him as he made a beeline for the restroom.  He took a risk and chose the private restroom for commanding officers, hoping to God that no one would try and get in.  It was a Saturday, right?  Superiors didn’t work weekends unless it was absolutely necessary, and it was slow.  Clearly it would be fine, Sonny told himself as he pushed through the door.  It was empty, thank God, and Sonny was endlessly grateful for small favors as he locked the door and folded his jacket over the wall of the bathroom stall.

He opened his phone to yet another message, sent in the short amount of time it took for him to find some privacy.  

_I want more.  I'm so hard, and so wet.  I think I could take another finger, I'm so ready for you.  Could you make me come just by fucking me, Sonny?  I bet you would try._

Sonny leaned against the wall, breathing hard as one hand gripped the phone and the other pried at his belt.

 **_I wouldn't have to try,_ ** Sonny typed back, wrapping a firm hand around himself.

_So cocky.  I know you'd work hard at it, to make it worth my while. Four fingers._

"Fuck," Sonny breathed into the empty bathroom.  It echoed off the marble floor and bounced back to him, shocking him at how undone he sounded.  He'd yet to get a real hand on Rafael and already the man was bringing him to his knees.

 **_I want to hear you,_ ** Sonny replied, moving a hand slickened with precome over superheated skin.   **_I want to hear what you sound like right now, loosened up and waiting for me._ **

It seemed like ages before Sonny's phone rang.  When he accepted the call, he was met with the sound of deep, slightly labored breathing.  It was unmistakably Rafael.  When he spoke, it was with a voice that Sonny had never heard before.  "Where are you?"

"Alone," Sonny replied quickly.

"Are you all mine, Alpha?" Rafael asked and Sonny's knees went weak.

"Yes," he panted.  "All yours."

"Are you touching yourself?"

Sonny moaned and squeezed the base of his prick.  "God, yes."

"It won't feel like me," Rafael grated out from low in his chest.  "It won't be tight like me, wet like me.  It won't be the same as you putting my legs over your shoulders and fucking me into the headboard."

As though Sonny needed the reminder.

It only made him harder, made precome well up in his slit and slip down to slick his stroke, but he believed in giving as good as he got so he lowered his voice and kept his mouth close to the phone.

"You think your hand feels as good as me?  You think you can do to yourself what an Alpha can do for you, what I can do for you?”  Rafael's breathing picked up as he bit back a moan, and Sonny continued.  "I don't think you can make yourself come just from those fingers, can you?  I can make you come just from fucking you.  You can just hold onto the headboard, let me do the work.  You'll shoot all over yourself without either one of us touching your prick and I’ll love watching every second of it."

Rafael groaned and for the first time Sonny could hear the wet glide of skin.   His fingers, pushing deep.  Curling up.  Fucking into himself because Sonny's cock wasn't an option just then.  The sound forced a wave of want to crash over him and his shaking fingers almost dropped the phone as his own hand flew over his prick, twisting over the head while Sonny tried to imagine it was Rafael gripping him so tight.  Thanking him.  Thanking his Alpha for making him feel like this, for fucking him right up to the very edge.

Rafael's voice broke as he ground out, " _Yes._ Fuck, yes."

"God, Rafael, I'm going to make you feel so _good._  I'll take such good care of you, fuck you until you come over and over, crying because you don't think you can do it anymore, and then I'll make you come again."

Just the thought of it made his balls tighten, and he had to grip himself tight at the root of his dick for just a moment, to hold off.  He needed Rafael to come first.  He needed to make his Omega come and then he could give in to the dangerous flare of heat coiled low in his gut.

"Come on, baby.  I know you need me to get you there.  Touch that big cock for me, Raf."

"Feel empty without you," Rafael replied, sounding mildly delirious as the sounds of him fucking himself faded.

"I know, it's okay."  Sonny swallowed, mouth dry and heart racing.  "Just let me take care of you.  Let me make you come."

Rafael gasped, long and loud.  The sound of skin on skin was back, quick and rhythmic.  Sonny listened to him hiss through his teeth and in that moment he would have killed to have heard it in person.

"Not going to last," Rafael breathed.

"It's okay, you don't have to," Sonny told him and had to pause his own pleasure to stay in control.  "You don't have to last, Raf.  Just come for me.  Let me hear you."

"She might hear," Rafael whispered, his voice strained and wrecked.

"I don't care, let her.  Come for me, Rafael, just let go." Sonny's grip on himself was brutal, but thankfully, he didn't have to hold out much longer.

Rafael's voice broke into a choked, gasping whine.  "Uh, uhn, oh god, Alpha, _Alpha,_..."

"Fuck, yes, that's right, baby..." Sonny pumped his hand in rough, fast strokes, his shoulders jerking back against the wall as he twisted his wrist and came with Rafael's voice in his ear.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he heard come splatter on the floor at his feet but he was too far gone to care, listening to Rafael shout into the phone in a wounded sounding voice that kept him coming.  Winding him up and up, until the last drops had been wrung from his body and every breath was ragged, tearing in and out of his lungs until he felt raw.

For a long while, neither of them spoke.  There was nothing but the sound of their breathing, heavy and labored, but slowing.  Sonny sagged against the wall, drained, amazed that he could come so hard just from touching himself.  He couldn't imagine what it would be like when he was actually inside Rafael.

It was Rafael who finally spoke, sounding sated and sarcastic and perfect in a way that was entirely new to him.  "Honestly Detective, shouldn't you be working?"

"Are you kidding me right now?" Sonny gasped, letting his head fall back to the wall.  "You started this, not me."

"Yes," Rafael admitted, and Sonny could hear the sound of shuffling on the other end of the phone.  Rafael rolling over in bed, probably.  "You left my apartment smelling like Alpha.  How many surfaces did you rub up against?"

"All of 'em," Sonny laughed.  "Couldn't have you forgetting me while I was gone."

"Alphas," Rafael spit, his voice rich with a mock annoyance that made Sonny smile.  “So primitive.  Marking their territory like animals.”

"Omegas," Sonny purred in return. "So needy.  Couldn't even wait for our first time, had to call me at work to get you off."

 _Click_.

Sonny ended the call before Rafael could even think about getting in the last word, feeling much too proud of himself for something a petty teenager would do.  He was smirking and so breathless he almost missed the faint keen that sounded before he hung up, sending a frisson of pleasure down his spine.  

It was going to be a long day.

After Sonny had cleaned himself - and the bathroom floor - he splashed cold water on his face and cologne on his neck.  One to get rid of the mottled blush still staining his skin after the best orgasm of his life, the other to mask the scent of an Alpha who just had the best orgasm of his life.  Neither would completely erase the damage but it would be enough to afford him plausible deniability, which was really all he needed.  Especially as he walked back into the squad room, jacket in hand, to find Fin looking annoyed as hell and sitting in Sonny’s chair.  

“About time you showed up,” he groused.  “You just now getting here?”

“Nah,” Sonny answered and cleared his throat.  “Just needed some air.”

_Just needed to come my brains out._

“Well, you good?” Fin asked and if he knew better he didn’t let on, bless the man.  

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“It took all morning but Barba’s security detail is done,” he started, standing up and shoving his hands in his pockets.  “They’re all good cops.  Honest, no problems.  I’ll vouch for them all myself.”

“Capable, if something goes down?”

“No, I appointed NYPD’s best and wimpiest,” he deadpanned.  “Come on, man.”

“You know I gotta check, okay?” Sonny complained.  “This is… this is different.  To me, I mean.”

“Might’ve heard that rumor.”

He stiffened.

“What rumor’s that?”

“That meeting a gangster in a dark alley is your version of a date,” Fin quipped and finally Sonny found it in himself to crack a smile as the worried weight in his chest lifted ever so slightly.  

“Nah, that’s on Barba.  His choice, I just showed up.”

Fin nodded thoughtfully.  “Yeah, well, you’ll get a chance to make it up to him.  I promise.  Nothing’s gonna happen to the guy.”

Sonny let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

“Great.  Thanks,” he said and sighed.  

“‘Cept for more bad dates, I imagine,” he added and suddenly Sonny’s scowl was back.

“So, Heredio.  BX9?” he asked pointedly and his sergeant was more than happy to move on from whatever vague heart-to-heart they’d just stumbled through.

“Coupla winners,” Fin commented and nodded at Heredio’s file.  “Nothing we ain’t seen before a few dozen times over.  The only thing new is that they don’t typically go for high profile targets like Barba.  Other gangs, sure.  Someone moving in on their territory or a threat, sure.  But this’d be a first for them.”

“Which might explain why he failed at it.”

“I don’t think he did, actually,” Fin observed and Sonny scoffed.  

“Pretty sure he did.  Ra-, um, Barba was fine when I left this morning.”  He grimaced at Fin’s knowing look but pointedly refused to offer an explanation.  

“Yeah, I bet he was,” Fin deadpanned but moved on before Sonny could argue. “But I'm talking about the fact that the gun Heredio was waving around was loaded with blanks.”

Sonny balked.  

“You're kidding.”

He tried to think of how the gun felt in his hand the night before but couldn't - his adrenaline was too high, his instinct to protect at the forefront of his mind with Rafael at his back and a threat in front of him.  The knowledge only confused him further - a higher level gangbanger sent on a kamikaze mission to murder an ADA with no live ammo in his weapon.  The sudden escalation from ominous phone calls to a physical confrontation.  

What were these people doing?

“Ballistics suspected last night and confirmed this morning.  Liv tried them out herself to be sure,” his sergeant told him.  “So no matter what went down last night, Barba was going to live.  Which kind of begs the question of why bother in the first place.”

“To scare him,” Sonny surmised.  “Just another scare tactic after he stopped picking up the phone.”

“Only one way to find out,” Fin said and nodded toward the interrogation room.  “He’s waiting on us.  You good?”

“Yeah,” Sonny sighed and tried to school is expression into one of passivity.  “Yeah, I’m good.”

“Because I might not be if someone waved a gun around in my loved one’s face,” the man continued and Sonny appreciated the out but it was unnecessary.  

“This isn’t about me, it’s about Barba,” Sonny said honestly and took strength from the words.  “Come on.  Let’s see what we can get this guy to fess up to.”

 

**…**

 

It was the second shower, Rafael was sure, that finally cleared the thick haze from his mind and the lust from his veins.  

The shower, of course, and most certainly not the orgasm that preceded it.

When he dressed again it was with an air of determination; determined to get himself under control, determined to function even as every thought seemed to vacillate between vibrant unease and the lazy crawl of satisfaction that wound through his every bone and muscle.  He was also determined to act as though Rollins hadn’t seen him in sweatpants with his hair sticking up in the back, smelling like unfulfilled desires and Sonny.  For a man who prided himself on maintaining a persona - a professional hardass, tempered with brilliance - the idea that a colleague would see him in any other state than perfectly composed made something uncomfortable prickle at the back of his neck.  

No matter.

He’d behave as himself, he’d work, and it would be like nothing ever happened.

Or so he thought.

“Feeling better after that?” Rollins asked immediately upon his entry into the kitchen, eyes on the coffee pot.  She was crashed out on his couch, watching something that involved women shrieking at each other.  

He bristled.

“Excuse me?”

“After your shower,” she clarified, looking smug even while sounding perfectly innocent.  “Feeling better?

“I'm not above making you sit in the hall.”

She smiled brightly.  “Yeah, that's not happening.”

“Aren't people from the south supposed to have unfailing manners and politeness?” he groused, turning his back on her to refill his mug.

“Spoken like someone who’s never been to the south,” she muttered in return.  “Mostly a myth, and I've lived in New York for a while now.”

“Lucky me.”

“Not like you could really be blamed, locked up in here with an Alpha all night.”

“Stop.”

Her voice turned sweet, unassuming.  

It was clearly a trap.  

“I do feel a little bad for interrupting y'all this morning,” she started and he held up a hand as he drained his cup in one go.  The detective was kind enough to wait for him to finish, blue eyes sparkling in amusement.  

“There is no universe,” he informed her, “Real or imagined, in which I am having this conversation with you.”

“And yet here we are.”

“It's bad enough my home and privacy are being invaded, not to mention my life being threatened, and now this?” he told her and wasn’t quite able to keep the edge of temper from his voice.  “We're colleagues, this is hardly professional.”

“All this time and you don't even consider me a friend?” Rollins asked with a scoff and shook her head at his dark glower.  “Damn, Barba.  Fine then.  But you know who is my friend?  Sonny.”

This made him pause, temporarily putting his desire for another jolt of caffeine on hold.

“I don't know what you're getting at.”

Her smile was back and this time it was something less than pleasant.  Had Rollins been an Alpha rather than the most aggressive Beta he’d ever met, he might have been inclined to think she was baring her teeth.

“You and I both know that's not true,” she said sweetly but there was nothing sweet about it.  “You're not stupid and neither am I.  You and Sonny have been doing this little dance of yours for years and there's nobody who hasn't been waiting for you two to finally make the jump.”

The prickling sensation was back.

“With all the gossip, where do you all find time for police work?”

She shook her head.  “You can't be serious for even a minute, huh?”

“For this?  No.”

His eyes drifted to the liquor cabinet in the corner of the living room.  Surely half past nine was late enough - there were special circumstances involved.

“"For this?"” she repeated incredulously.  “What's that supposed to mean?”

“This 'I've got a gun and a shovel' talk, like I'm picking him up for junior prom,” he asserted and the bite in his voice was back.  “We're two adult men with our eyes wide open, and I suspect he would resent having you interrogate me regarding our relationship almost as much as I resent it.”

Her surprise was obvious, written across fair features as plainly as a billboard.

“God,” she marveled.  “You really are a prick.”

“I've been called worse.”

“And probably deserved it.”

“Whatever you're hoping to get out of me, it isn't going to happen,” he told her matter-of-factly, abandoning his idea to start drinking because he had a feeling it would get back to either Liv or Sonny and that was yet another conversation he wasn’t willing to have.  “I'm going to sit down at my table and try to salvage my day by getting some work done.  Watch TV, read, or do whatever this bodyguard duty looks like, but do it without bothering me.  If possible.”

She turned back to the TV without another word.

He sat down with casefiles and his notes but nothing came.  It would have been preferable to believe that stress was getting the better of him, he had more than enough to be stressed about, but unfortunately he was becoming intimately familiar with the sick slide of guilt in his stomach and recognized it instantly.  Rollins had kicked off her shoes and brought her feet up to rest on the couch, attention trained on something about brides making completely insane demands, and again he thought of Sonny on that couch.  Choosing to stay there because he’d been difficult, had been cruel, and here he was again.  In the exact same situation with yet another blue-eyed blonde, with yet another accent, because apparently he was gifted in alienating people trying to help him.

“If I can get through this deposition,” he started carefully and the detective didn’t even turn to face him, “I was thinking we could order lunch.  My treat, of course.  If there’s something in particular you wanted.”

Rollins did look at him then, a knowing smirk in place.  

“Sure,” she said knowingly and he tried to keep himself from tensing at the knowledge that she could see through him.  “I’ll think about it.”

“Good,” he said and turned back to his work without another word.  Were Sonny present he might have teased him about another subpar apology but it was just him so he nodded and jotted down another note, because that was the best he could do at the moment.

 

**…**

 

Around five Amanda texted to let him know that her shift had ended, tapping one of Fin’s uniforms to take over.  An Officer Baxter, a recent Academy grad who was afraid of her and refused to make eye contact with Barba at all - so the guy was intelligent, at least.  

Sonny made it out of the precinct at a semi-reasonable hour, the ride going quickly while his mind burned rubber trying to fit all the pieces together.  It didn’t work.  The motivations behind it all, the farce, were an incomplete puzzle, a maze with no end in sight.  It had only been a day and still he found himself guilty and miserable at not knowing more, not being able to provide Rafael with more security that things were being handled.  Sonny wanted him safe.  Safe in his home, safe to work.  Safe in the knowledge that Sonny was doing everything in his power to get his life back on track to the best of his ability.  

Which, at that point, didn’t seem like a lot.

This time, at least, he’d remembered to pack a bag.  A few changes of clothes, toothbrush.  His soap and hair products, which would almost certainly be mocked upon being taken from his bag.  The thought - imagining Rafael’s soft chuckle and condescending tone - actually had him smiling as he climbed out of the car and paid his fare.

There had been a uniform in the lobby when he arrived, sitting in a chair behind the doorman and watching everyone who came in the door.  He’d seen Sonny’s shield on the front of his coat and offered a slight nod on his way to the elevator, otherwise happy to watch the rest of the foot traffic in and out of the building.  Sonny appreciated it - the uniform wasn’t on his phone, wasn’t vegging out or daydreaming.  It was a small comfort after a harried day; a harried day that was only going to be more so when he had to go upstairs and tell Rafael that they didn’t know much more tonight than they had last night.

Still, he took the elevator to Rafael’s floor and stepped off to find Officer Baxter in a chair by the door, back stick-straight and deep-set hazel eyes alert and focused on Sonny as he approached.

“Identification?”

“Detective Carisi,” he replied, hardly slowing because he knew damn well he was on every single list those officers had been given.  It wasn’t good enough for Officer Baxter, though, who stood from his seat and moved to block him from getting to the door.  

“I’m sorry, verbal confirmation isn’t accurate,” the officer said, clearing his throat in the middle of the speech and squaring his shoulders.  “Your badge number matches what I have in my file but if you can wait a moment I’d like a visual confirmation.”

“You memorized my badge number?” he asked, confused enough to stand and wait while the guy pulled out a new iPhone and typed away.  

“Yours and the rest of SVU as well as the other members of the security team,” he confirmed.  “First name Dominick?”

“Yeah, that’s right,” Sonny replied and this time felt his mouth curving up in an amused smile.  The kid couldn’t have been more than twenty-two or twenty-three and he pulled up Google in about a nanosecond, like he was doing it on reflex.  “Middle name Michael, if you happen to be looking for my birth certificate.”

“No,” Baxter replied seriously, “The picture wouldn’t match.”

Sonny scoffed, amusement now bordering on amazement, but before Officer Baxter could pull up an image to compare him against the door opened and Rafael was standing there.  Arms crossed, scowling down at the cop in front of him - a man shorter than him by maybe two inches.  A man who could surely feel the concentrated heat of Rafael’s glare because slowly his phone came down and he turned, shoulders already tensed.  

“I heard you talking,” Rafael told Sonny by way of an explanation.  “Why didn’t you let him in?”

“Counselor Barba, I-”

“It’s fine, Raf,” Sonny said, grinning.  “Look at how good a job he’s doing.”

“He verified your identity first by name and then by badge number,” Rafael groused, “What was he going to check next, your fingerprints?  Blood type?  Call your mother?”

“Actually, really, when you think about it, it’s more beneficial for me to know what Detective Carisi looks like,” the officer answered, “Because if for some reason someone had started a new shift and didn’t already know what he looked like, a potential attacker could easily have impersonated him and we wouldn’t have known any different.”

“See?” Sonny asked Rafael, who still didn’t look happy about it - even if there was now a grudging kind of respect.  “He’s doing a great job.  Thank you, Officer, for being so proactive.”

“My pleasure, Detective.”

“In the future I don’t expect Detective Carisi to be detained at my door,” Rafael told him, voice dark, and Sonny couldn’t help the smile that moved over his face at the sound of the Omega refusing to be kept from him.  “Understand?”

“Of course.  Yes.  I mean, yes sir.  Counselor.”

“You’re relieved, Officer Baxter.” Sonny smiled.  “I got it from here.  Don’t worry about him, his bark is bigger than his bite.”  

“Are you sure you don’t need me any longer?  I have another hour on my shift.” the young man offered, eager out of either a desire to prove himself or out of a trained sense of politeness.  Either way, Sonny had no intentions of suffering an audience outside the door for the rest of their night.

“You’re good.  Have a good night.” Sonny assured him and stood next to Rafael long enough to watch the kid collect his things and head for the elevator, only turning to face the man he’d waited all day to see once their chaperone was gone.

“Are you coming in or planning to spend the night at my front door?” Rafael asked, undoubtedly trying for snarky but falling a hair short.  Mostly because Sonny could see affection in his eyes and soft wrinkles in his sweater.  When Sonny didn’t answer he continued, “I have food.”

“And turn down dinner with you?  Never.”  

Sonny came in, closing the door behind him and throwing the lock into place alongside two deadbolts.  They were sturdy, one of them new at Fin’s recommendation.  He made a show of leaving his bag on the couch, drawing Rafael’s eyes for a moment or two before he went back to what he was doing in the kitchen.  If a smile threatened to upturn the corners of the attorney’s mouth, then that was no one’s business.  

While Rafael rifled through his cabinet for wine glasses Sonny did a quick sweep of the apartment.  Testing windows to see if they’d been tampered with, checking locks.  He told himself that peering through Rafael’s closet was to clear it for potential intruders but it was at least partially to satisfy a years-long curiosity of his - namely, how many suits, ties, and pocket squares the man actually owned and how in the hell he managed to store them.  Carefully and closely, as it turned out.  Creatively, with excessive care for fabrics Sonny couldn’t have named had his life been hanging in the balance.

When the apartment was cleared he wandered back into the kitchen, slipping out of his jacket to find Rafael setting the table.  The table that was, only that morning, hidden under a mountain of legal briefs and files.  Now it was clear, decorated only with gleaming porcelain plates piled with caprese salad and shining silverware.  He would only have been more shocked to find lit candles between them, having in no way expected such a scene from Rafael Barba, of all people.  In the middle of his shocked gaping Rafael came in, carrying bigger plates in each hand - flounder stuffed with crabmeat, linguine with clam sauce and that was all it took.  The jig was up.

Sonny pointed.

“Wait. You didn’t make that.”

“What?” Rafael asked, confused.

“That.  No way you spent your evening stuffing a fish.  And pasta?” Sonny insisted, eyebrows raised.  “Come on.”

“Of course I didn’t make it.” Rafael replied, incredulous.  “It’s from JP’s.”

“You had it delivered and put it all out on real plates?” Sonny clarified, smile breaking through again.  The thought that Rafael would order them dinner and take the time to plate it was… charming.  It was charming.

“What, you’d rather eat it out of the foil pan with plastic forks?” Rafael snarked but it was tempered with the hint of a smile.

“Well, I mean.”  Sonny started, grinning.  “Yeah, absolutely, the honest way.  Hunched over the kitchen sink like animals.”

“Well, I don’t know how you do it on Staten Island-”

“-or in the 16th precinct break room,” Sonny cut in.

“-but I prefer to eat my meals like a civilized person,” he finished.

Sonny scoffed playfully.  “They got you real fancy out in Cambridge, huh?”

“New York being famously known for its lack of culture?”

“New York being famously known for its sexy, smart ass lawyers.”  Sonny leaned in, smiling even as he stole a quick kiss.  It was just a touch, just a taste, but it was all he’d been working toward all day.  Rafael seemed caught off guard but allowed it all the same, even daring to tilt forward a little as Sonny pulled away.  “Hi, by the way.”

If he didn’t know any better, Rafael seemed pleased when he replied, “Hello.”

“This looks great.  I can’t believe you spent all day stuffing a fish.”

“I found more pleasurable ways to spend my day,” Rafael said mildly, a teasing edge to his voice that suggested they were both highly aware of how they’d spent their days.  Sonny flushed against his will, thinking of Rafael’s voice - rough in his ear, even over the phone, as he came.  Surely it was an image Rafael was considering right along with him, innocently adding, “And how did you spend your day?”

“Not so pleasurably, with one very notable exception, thank you very much,” Sonny said, acerbic, as he uncuffed his shirtsleeves and began to roll them to his elbows.  

“You’re welcome,” Rafael told him, still mild, still unflinching.  It made him flush even more because apparently they weren’t shying away from that, either.  Not from their relationship, nor from the moments they’d stolen for themselves earlier in the day.  

Sonny could work with that.

He took a seat after Rafael did, opposite him at the small dining room table.  A sweet white table wine was chilling between them and Sonny poured while Rafael checked his phone and frowned at something on the screen.  Sonny didn’t ask, assuming the man would share it if it was necessary.

“So,” Rafael started, a little uncomfortably.  “How did it go today?  Was there anything with, um, with…”

For a man as articulate as Rafael, it was significant to see him at a loss for words.  Significant enough that it made Sonny pause, concerned, before it clicked and he understood.  

Asking for updates on a case was far less of a minefield when it wasn’t your own.

“Not as much as I’d like.”  Sonny set down his fork long enough to make eye contact, to hold it.  While Rafael was acutely aware that he wasn’t asking for information on any old case, Sonny was acutely aware that he wasn’t talking to any other victim.  This was Rafael, this was a man he cared about.  Even more.  He did his best to sound comforting, hoping Rafael would interpret it as being patronizing.  “But we got some stuff, yeah.  The guy’s name is Felipe Heredio, he’s a BX9 lieutenant.”

“Seems like an unlikely hitman.”

“Yeah, that’s what we thought too.”

“Why does BX9 want to kill me?” Rafael asked casually.  Too casually, Sonny thought, and he was able to see through it to the taut wire of apprehension that hummed beneath it.  “Well.  Any reason other than the obvious, I suppose.”

“They don’t.  They just wanted to scare you, same as with the phone calls.  The gun was loaded with blanks.”  Rafael looked up, surprised, and Sonny understood.  He’d been wearing a similar expression all day.  “You were never gonna get shot, nothing was gonna happen to you.”

The words were possibly a little too soft, a little too easy on him, but Rafael was too swept up in the questions inherent to the information to worry about Sonny’s delivery.

“Why the escalation?” he asked, scowling.

“Because you stopped answering the phone, probably.  But I think the better question is why the threats at all?”  Sonny shook his head, reached for his wine.  “And that’s where things get cloudy, because they aren’t coming from BX9.  Heredio is doing someone else’s dirty work.  While he was in holding, he told me he was gonna get paid $250 every time he talked to you.”

“$250, that’s it?  I should be offended,” he snarked, clearly affronted.  Only to immediately follow it up with, “Who paid him?”

“That he wouldn’t say.  Yet.  But based on what he did say, threat assessment’s gonna keep the security detail on you twenty-four seven.”

Rafael bristled.  “What else did he say?”

“I don’t know if I…” he started, hesitated, and then started again.  “I can’t really go into all that yet.  You know that.”

Rafael stiffened and looked for a moment like he wanted to argue - to plead his case, to win the information he was after.  Instead he breathed out a long sigh that sounded more tired than Sonny had ever heard him.

“Terrific,” he murmured and met Sonny’s eyes over the table.  “Still want to be an ADA?”

“I’ve been thinking about it.”  Sonny answered honestly, surprising them both.

Rafael perked up instantly.  Happy either with the subject change or with the opportunity to _do_ something rather than ask questions he may or may not get answers to.

“I hear there’s an opening in Brooklyn.”

Sonny shrugged, trying his utmost not to look like he was hedging even if he really was.  

“The thing is, Rafael, I took an oath to protect and serve.  So I don’t want to leave.  Not now, anyway, when you need all this protection.”  It was a joke, but Sonny could see at one just how much it failed to land, and he felt compelled to set down his fork.  “Shit.  I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean it like that, like because you’re an-”

“I know,” Rafael said, cutting him off with a wave of his hand.  “Don’t, it’s alright.  You don’t have to do that.  I… I shouldn’t have laid into you last night.  You don’t have to walk on eggshells around me.  With all this going on, I… I’m glad to have you here.”

The moment of vulnerability surprised him but Sonny was quick to seize on it, taking the opportunity to offer Rafael a knowing smile and a bashful duck of his head.  

Maybe the candles weren’t necessary for this to have turned out as intimate as it had.  Sonny broke the moment with a smile, wider this time.  More energetic than strictly necessary but this time he meant it.  

“Hey, this all looks really great,” he said, picking his fork up again.  “We shouldn’t let it get cold.”

Rafael agreed, bypassing his salad entirely and going straight for the pasta.

A man after his own heart.

“Hey,” Sonny started after his first bite, “How'd you get delivery anyway?”

“I called, placed an order.  Paid.”

“No, I mean how did they get here?” he asked.  “Officer Baxter tried to Google me before I even got the chance to knock on your door.  And some delivery boy made it?”

“He didn’t, actually,” Rafael corrected and leaned back in his chair, lethally green eyes smirking over his wine glass.  “The NYPD can hide a body, right?”

Sonny laughed, his body warm with something a lot sweeter than wine.


	3. Firsts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny grazed his knuckles over the soft swell of Rafael's stomach, his fingertips dipping low under the waistband of his pants, catching on the back of the button he itched to undo. He wanted to sink into the softness of the other man, to caress every curve and scratch his nails along each angle.
> 
> "We’re both here now," Rafael offered, as he reached and lifted up his own shirt with a slowness that had to have been calculated to drive Sonny insane. 
> 
> Sonny nodded in agreement. “I want you so much.”
> 
> “So have me,” he replied, voice sweetened with invitation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for coming along. Please let us know if you'd like to see more of this and know that we appreciate every word. <3
> 
> xoxo, p-b-b and ahf.
> 
> p.s. - Thanks to Robin Hood for the beta and happy new episode day (for better or worse).

**Chapter Three - Firsts**

 

Sonny had just placed the last of the dinner plates into the drying rack when Rafael touched his back between his shoulder blades.  He tensed momentarily, just from surprise, but relaxed at once as Rafael's hand traced down along his spine, curving over the top of his ass and around his hip.  He gave a gentle tug and Sonny moved with it, swaying back even as Rafael pressed himself up against his back.  He felt the other man's warm breath on the back of his neck, and then his lips, one warm kiss, and then another.

"I want to go to bed," Rafael said, clearly not one to mince words.  "Do you?"

They had spent so much time dancing around this.  Flirting, bickering, and more flirting.  Long, meaningful looks and clandestine touches, talking circles around an attraction they couldn't deny and a growing affection they wouldn't admit.  Sonny was tired of waiting.  After seeing Rafael at the wrong end of the barrel of a gun, he resolved that he wasn't going to waste any more time with the man he knew he wanted.

"Yeah," Sonny breathed, covering Rafael's hands with his own.  "Yeah, I do."

Sonny tilted his head to the side as Rafael kissed the side of his neck and breathed deep, scenting him.

"I've wanted to for way too long," Sonny continued, and Rafael made a wordless sound of agreement around a warm, open-mouthed kiss where his neck met his shoulder.  The soft brush of his tongue against his skin felt like a jolt of electricity.  "Why the hell did we wait so long?"

"Because you're annoying," Rafael murmured, distracted, his thumbs hooking in the waistband of Sonny's slacks and giving a slight downward tug.

Sonny huffed a laugh, the sound breathier than he anticipated.

"Let's go to bed," Rafael repeated, stepping back, and Sonny ached at the loss of contact between them.  The scent of Rafael was everywhere, and while it always attracted him, right now it was making his head spin.  He turned. Keeping hold of one of the Omega's hands, allowing himself to be lead from the kitchen and down the hall, to the door at the end of it that served to remind him just how much promise tonight had.

Rafael pushed open the door to his dark bedroom, lit only in stripes of dim blue light streaming in between the slats of his blinds and dappled by the leaves of the trees that lined the street; New York City after dark.  Sonny touched the wall, reaching for the light switch he could just see as the light from the street flickered across it.  Rafael's hand covered his, stopping him.

"Leave it off," he said, and sound of his voice in the dark sent a thrill down Sonny's spine.

"I want to see you,” he murmured but it was a weak argument when his body was already leaning into Rafael’s without the benefit of illumination to guide his way.

Rafael took his hand, pulling it from the wall and placing it low on his waist, holding it there.  Skin warm under soft cloth; a promise.

"Feel me instead."

The words were simultaneously a salve and a lit match, soothing his frayed nerves after the events of the last two days and heating his skin where it melded with Rafael's.  The hem of his shirt was pushed up, Sonny's fingers tracking the line of flesh just above his waistband.  He started at one hip and dragged slowly, across his lower abdomen and to the coarse wires of hair that vanished behind his fly.  Sonny couldn't tell their color there in the dark or just how they would contrast with Rafael's skin, but he could feel them.  A whisper of sensation beneath his fingertips that made him catch his bottom lip between his teeth.

"I thought you were going to kill me today," Sonny confessed as he stepped closer and took the shirt in his hands.  Both hands wandered over his abdomen now, mapping the shallow grooves of ribs and soft planes of muscle that bunched and jumped under his fingers.  "I've never been kissed like that.  Never once in my life and there you are, in my lap.  Thought I was gonna go out of my damn mind if I didn't have you."

"I'm not the one who insisted on going into work," Rafael replied softly, ever so slightly arching his hips closer to Sonny's grasp.

"Not that you let it stop you."

Rafael smirked.

"You shouldn't have left," Rafael said simply, as though it was a suitable excuse, as though they both didn't know that he'd had to go.

Sonny grazed his knuckles over the soft swell of Rafael's stomach, his fingertips dipping low under the waistband of his pants, catching on the back of the button he itched to undo.  He wanted to sink into the softness of the other man, to caress every curve and scratch his nails along each angle.

"We’re both here now," Rafael offered, as he reached and lifted up his own shirt with a slowness that had to have been calculated to drive Sonny insane.  

Sonny nodded in agreement.  “I want you so much.”

“So have me,” he replied, voice sweetened with invitation.

Somehow Rafael baring his own skin was more intoxicating than even Sonny's glancing touches, than even the knowledge that they were finally in this moment together.  Watching Rafael push the shirt over his head made his breath catch, his blood pump thickly through veins dilated with want, the closest thing to a high he'd ever found.  The closest thing to a high he'd ever want as Rafael pulled the sleeves from his arms and gave Sonny’s eyes the first taste of golden skin he’d get that night.  

The first, but not the last.

The fabric whispered to the floor with hardly a sound, helped along by Sonny's questing fingers.  A medal hung around his neck, glinting against his skin in the low light.  One day Sonny would ask about it.  Ask about the saint that was pressed into the thin gold, about the hands who had given it to him the first time.  When and why and how Rafael found himself still wearing it.  Not tonight, though.  Tonight he would brush his fingers over it and wordlessly pledge to adore it like he adored the rest of Rafael, bare and open to Sonny's hungry gaze.

Rafael's skin felt like fire under his fingertips, as though he housed an inferno just under his skin that Sonny ached to quench with his lips and tongue.  His knuckles skimmed light over Rafael's chest and down the center of his stomach, hesitating before he caught the button of his fly and pushed it undone with his thumb.

"You're beautiful," he whispered, honestly, though he felt foolish saying it aloud.

"Flatterer," Rafael replied, as he slid his hands up under the hem of Sonny's shirt, warm palms flat against his lean sides.  Sonny trembled, the sheer touch of Rafael's hands on his bare skin enough to take his breath away and leave him flush with anticipation.

"I'm not," he exhaled, and dipped his head just low enough to breath against Rafael's mouth.  "I'm not."

Flattery suggested a falsehood, or at least an exaggeration.

Rafael _was_ beautiful.

Golden skin, dark hair neatly parted and flecked with gray.  Lethally green eyes flashing hot and impatient in the dim light of his bedroom.  Solid, tan body beneath the bespoke finery he wore on a daily basis.  Finery Sonny had seen him out of already twice that day, which might have been even more personal than seeing the man naked, Sonny thought as he dragged the man's zipper down and captured a kiss from his lips just at the moment his hand wrapped around the thick length of Rafael's prick.

" _God_ ," Rafael breathed, breaking the kiss as Sonny stroked upward.

Sonny had wanted for so long to get his hands on Rafael, to explore each inch of the body he so admired, to touch and stroke and coax pleasure out of him until his voice rose and broke with pleasure and his body arched and bowed under his hands.

He didn't think he would be as affected as he was if their positions were reversed.  Rafael was hard and hot and deliciously thick in his hand, bigger than he had imagined, and he couldn't contain a groan as he slowly slid his hand back and forth and dragged his thumb across his head.  His eyes were fixed to Rafael's face, desperate to see every flicker of pleasure that crossed his features.

Rafael's eyes shuttered closed, and he rocked into Sonny's grip.

Slow, at first.  Complementary to the lazy pull of Sonny's hand as it moved over him.  He paused when Sonny did, gasped prettily when Sonny tightened his grip.  It was only at the first hint of desperation that Rafael seemed to lose himself a little, canting upward once Sonny felt the need to squeeze tighter, move faster.  Then all his movements were involuntary, as though Rafael couldn't help but ball his fists in the front of Sonny's shirt while he head rolled back, throat bared.  Pulse thrumming under delicate skin as Sonny leaned down to scent him and brush his lips over the top of the frantic beat.

"I've had you in my nose all day.  Dark and sweet, smoky, like fire lives under your skin," Sonny whispered at Rafael's neck.  “I’d find you in a crowd, with a mass of people between us.  I’d know you anywhere.”

Precome slicked Sonny's stroke, and Rafael’s grip tightened.  The sighs that escaped from him were plaintive, pleading for more before Sonny had even had the chance to give it.  The other man's hips rolled forward with a significant enough sway that he was shifted off balance and was forced to brace himself on Sonny's chest.  The knowledge that he was was literally supporting the Omega gave Sonny a thrill that he preferred not to examine too closely.

"It only gets better," Rafael managed, somehow, and it took everything Sonny had not to latch onto that thumping pulse point with lips and teeth.  "When you're on top of me, when you're inside me."

He had no doubt.

Nor did he have any intention of waiting any longer to find out.

One hand jerking him off, the other circled around to rest against Rafael's lower back, Sonny walked them back toward the bed.  He stole another long kiss, bit into the swollen flesh of Rafael's lower lip, and gave one last stroke before letting the man go and gently guiding him down onto the mattress.  Sonny leaned down to go with him, knee between his legs and noses close enough to brush.  When Rafael was situated he pulled back and set to work on his own buttons, ridding them faster than Rafael had because he was less concerned about a show than he was in finally getting to feel Rafael without the barrier of clothing.

In a moment Sonny's tie was off, dropped to the floor.  His shirt followed, forgotten before it even hit the ground.  His pants were gone a few seconds later, cast aside to be forgotten until morning.

He tried not to bask under Rafael's intense gaze and instead knelt between the man's legs and curled his fingers beneath the waistbands of the articles of clothing still keeping them apart.  A firm pull is all it took before they were gone, pulled off each leg one at a time while Sonny let his eyes linger on the skin he'd exposed.  Taut, muscled thighs dusted in hair turned blue in the moonlight.  Dark hair in curls around the base of his prick.  The entire picture was too good to be true, Rafael panting on the bed in front of him while Sonny let his eyes drink him in and his mouth water.

"I want to taste you," he ground out and settled between Rafael's thighs again.  His hands ran up and down the corded muscle, enjoying how it was Rafael's first instinct to let his legs fall open to accommodate, only to tighten around Sonny's waist once the man was still.  He looked up and Rafael's eyes were trained on him, tongue sneaking out to wet his bottom lip.  "Can I?" he asked and ran a finger in the crease between his pelvic bone and the top of his thigh.  Rafael jumped, bucked.  "Can I use my mouth on you?"

Rafael reached out for him, and his hand trembled as he brushed his fingertips over Sonny's cheek, skimmed them across his nose and traced his lower lip with his thumb.  Sonny's eyelids fluttered, but didn't close.  He couldn't keep his eyes off Rafael, looking unreal and beautiful in the faint blue light, his face flushed, eyes heavy-lidded, and his kiss-bruised lips parted, gasping.

Rafael smoothed the hair back where it curled unruly against Sonny's forehead, raked his fingers through it with all the gentleness he expected of an Omega.

And then, with all that he expected of Rafael, the other man tangled his hand in Sonny's hair, his grip firm enough to send jolts of pleasure sparking down from his scalp all through his body.  The way he tugged his head down wasn't rough, it was playful and perfect and everything Sonny wanted in this moment.

"I would be very disappointed if you didn't," Rafael panted, and Sonny could only smile up at him, wondering how hard he was working against himself to play at dominance in this moment.

Sonny didn't have to work against himself at all to duck his head and drag his lips over the tender skin of Rafael's inner thigh, delighting in the way Rafael spread them further to allow his ascent.   Following the path of his own whim came as easily to him as breathing.  He drew a faint line with his nose up the crease of Rafael's leg, listened to the man suck in a quick breath through his teeth.  The breath held as Sonny pressed a kiss to his lower abdomen and then another, into the shadow just below his stomach.  Another, to the top of the opposite hip.  The disgruntled whine that worked itself out of Rafael's throat was a badge of honor that Sonny cherished as he crouched lower, used the tip of his tongue to discover the seam of Rafael's balls and trace it upward before pulling away and blowing air across the cooling track of wetness he'd left.

"Damn it," Rafael hissed.

"Patience is a virtue.  You ever hear that?" Sonny reminded him and did it again.  This time slower, using the blade of his tongue to take in the earthy taste of his skin as he went.

"Not one of mine," Rafael bit back and pulled on Sonny's hair again, lighting sparks up underneath his scalp that warmed him down to his toes. It was lucky Sonny had enough patience for both of them, because he had no intention of this ending before he was ready.

He had waited long enough for this.  He wasn't going to rush it now.

Sonny didn't want to torture Rafael with anticipation, exactly, but the impatient huffs of breath and sighs of want were music to his ears.  He couldn't help bending to his own base Alpha instincts; couldn't help his desire to have the Omega panting and whining and whimpering under him, needing to be touched, to be taken.  He would never leave Rafael wanting, not for anything, but working him up would only allow Sonny more opportunity to satisfy him.

After a particularly plaintive sound wrenched itself from Rafael's throat, combined with another delicious tug at his hair, Sonny decided to be merciful.  He stroked Rafael's balls with the warm, soft flat of his tongue, working them over before giving in a sucking them into his mouth one at a time, rolling his tongue around them.  Rafael gasped and twitched, spreading his thighs, and Sonny moaned around him.

Even after years of trying, he could never have imagined this.

Rafael pliant beneath him while Sonny worked his sac around in his mouth, working for the reward of every ragged breath or quiet mewl that fell from Rafael's lips.  So often in those waking fantasies, the ones that sprung forth with his hand wrapped around himself and his eyes closed, Sonny took him hard and fast.  Fucked the knowing smirk off the man's face, trading it instead for the slack-jawed expression of someone trapped in sensation rather than in thought.  Then Sonny had come at the final iteration of _Alpha_ as it crossed Rafael's lips and he pictured the splatter of fluid across bronze skin.

Now, Sonny had all night and planned to use it.  Sonny wasn't chasing mindlessly after his own release, and the point he wanted to prove wasn't dominance or competence or his own self-assurance that he would be able to fuck Rafael the way he deserved.  

More than anything, Sonny wanted to show Rafael that he was taken care of.

Physically, as Sonny gave in to Rafael's needy whimpers and let his heavy sac fall from his mouth.

Emotionally, as Sonny gave Rafael a taste of what he wanted with the flat of his tongue lapping at the thick vein on the underside of the man's cock.

Completely, as Sonny took him into his mouth and swirled his clever tongue around the broad head, leaking with the want Sonny could hear pouring from his lover's mouth as his fingers in Sonny's hair tightened and his hips levered off the bed.

Sonny would only ever take care of him.  Would only ever feed him, get him off, lay with him until he slept.  Sonny would stand between him and every danger that ever presented itself for as long as Rafael would let him - forever, if Sonny had this way.  Forever would have been too little, in Sonny's opinion, as he took Rafael deep and hollowed his cheeks as he pulled off again.  The sounds Rafael was making would have sustained him for at least another lifetime beyond this one and Sonny felt lucky to be the one to hear them.

"Sonny," Rafael panted, and again.  " _Sonny._ " His voice shook with want, and his hand in Sonny's hair tugged upward instead of down.  Sonny could only follow his lead, so desperate to give the other man everything he wanted, to fulfill his every desire.

Rafael let go of his hair as Sonny moved up off his knees and instead touched his shoulders and then gripped his arms, pulling him closer, physically expressing the need that Sonny was determined to hear spill from his lips.

Sonny allowed himself to be pulled close, cupped Rafael's face and stroked his cheek with his thumb, bending down to meet his gasping mouth as Rafael arched up toward him.  The slide of his body against Rafael's sent raw electricity coursing under his skin, every point of contact shooting sparks. He gave into want and leveraged his narrow hips between Rafael's wantonly spread thighs, rolling his body against him, teasing him with the friction of their cocks sliding together.

Sonny came alive.

Surely that's what it was, because whatever came before this might not really have been living.  Nothing in his life felt like kissing Rafael long and dirty, brushing his tongue across the roof of Rafael's mouth and reveling in the way Rafael moaned at the sensation.  Soon both his hands were buried in Rafael's hair to pull grasp and pull, to angle his mouth in such a way that Sonny could lick into it with abandon.  His hips were moving in a steady grind while they kissed and tasted and touched.  He would have been glad to live in that kiss forever but it was a welcome surprise when Rafael tightened his legs around Sonny's waist, levered his hips up, and rolled them both over.

One moment he was lost in the rough glide of flesh, the next Rafael was above him, bathed in moonlight and breathing heavily as he looked down his graceful nose at Sonny.  Sonny, who couldn't help the reflex to grip Rafael's hips and thrust up.  His lover didn't hold it against him, only reached down to grab handfuls of skin and muscle as he balanced himself on Sonny's chest.

"I've been thinking about this all day," Rafael whispered, voice rough as he rocked his hips.  "I was out of my mind.  Fingering myself in the shower because I couldn't get your scent out of my nose."

"I'm sorry I made you wait," Sonny gasped, raw and honest.  "I didn't want to leave you.  You shouldn't have to take care of yourself like that... I should be taking care of you, I should be inside you, Rafael, I want to give you everything."

He was babbling, but it was the truth.  He didn't know how they had let so much time pass before they got to this moment.  He shouldn't have left that morning, he shouldn't have let years pass.  He should have walked up to Rafael the first time he saw him and taken his face in his hands, kissed him until he was breathless, and sucked love bites all over his neck, claiming him as his own for everyone to see.

They had wasted so much time.

"You were with me all day," he continued, thrusting blindly up even as Rafael ground down against him.  "All I could think about was getting back here to you, kissing you, touching you. I want you so much."  His voice broke with emotion, and he wasn't ashamed.

"You can have me," Rafael replied as he rolled his hips, and Sonny slid between his cheeks, starbursts firing behind his eyes.  He could feel how wet Rafael was, how ready.  All for him.

Sonny pushed up on his elbow, reaching up to touch Rafael's face, drawing him down for a long, slow kiss.  He sucked and nipped at his lower lip, and licked into his mouth when the other man gasped against him.

"Are you ready?" Sonny asked breathlessly when they broke apart.  "What do you need, what can I-..."

"I've been ready all day," Rafael cut him off, rolling his hips again, and Sonny groaned.  "I need you inside me.  Don't make me wait anymore.  I want you to fuck me."

Rafael didn't say please; the Omega was so used to giving him orders.  And Sonny was nothing if not eager to follow them.

He carded his hand through Rafael's hair, staring up at the man above him, beautiful in the blue light dappling the darkness of the room.

"Put me inside you."

Rafael licked his lips and reached back, never breaking eye contact as he did.  Sonny trembled at the first touch of Rafael's hand against his prick, but it was nothing compared to what followed.  Rafael rose up slightly on his knees, guiding the blunt head of Sonny's cock to his soaked hole, and sank down onto him with agonizing slowness.

Rafael whined, involuntary and deep in his throat, as he stretched himself down around Sonny's thick shaft.  For all that Rafael was soaking wet, he was still blindingly tight.

Sonny moaned, saw stars.

"Oh fuck," Sonny swore and fought to keep his eyes open.  "Fuck, Raf.  God, you feel so good.  So tight.  Jesus Christ, I can't take it."

Rafael rewarded him with a knowing smirk and circled his hips, stirring Sonny within him even as Rafael clenched and their fit tightened even further.

"Ah, _Christ_..."

"Didn't I tell you?" Rafael panted and lifted off an inch or two just to sink back down.  "Didn't I tell you nothing would feel like me?"

"Yeah," Sonny said, nodding and fighting his instinct to thrust up.  To take, to claim.  "Yeah, you told me."

"Do you believe me now?"

Sonny nodded vigorously, digging his fingers into the flesh of Rafael's hips.  His lover's cock was stiff and red, slickened with Sonny's saliva and the rush of his own precome as he moved.  Slowly at first, teasing him.  Punishing, maybe, because he'd been forced to wait for this.  Sonny couldn't blame him, not really, because suddenly all his taunting about first dates seemed ridiculous.  In the face of this, awash in this moment, it didn't feel like a first.  It didn't feel like something that came too soon or before they were ready.  It felt like it had taken them a lifetime to get here, and it felt like Sonny had been here for a millenia.  Fitted inside Rafael like this, skin to skin, sweating and deprived of any real light with which to see each other.  

He wanted to feel this forever.

The lift of Rafael off his throbbing prick, the hard descent as he took Sonny back in.  The decadent roll of his hips as he ground down to take him in further.  It was all too much, too perfect.  It rendered him breathless as Rafael sped up, the blunt edges of his nails cutting into the skin on Sonny's chest as he gripped tight for leverage.  Sonny would wear those tiny crescents, flushed scarlet and tinged with purple; he'd feel them on his body for a day or two and get hard because they would always bring him back here - to Rafael riding him the way he'd only ever dreamed before now.

"Unh, Sonny," Rafael groaned breathlessly as he canted his hips harder, faster.  "Oh, that's it.  Right there.  Fuck, you're so deep.  So hard and thick.  When you come I'm going to feel it in my _throat_."

The words hit him like a freight train and it was absolutely against his will when he tightened his grip and thrusted up.  Hard.  Hard enough that Rafael cried out in shocked pleasure and Sonny threw his head back and moaned, long and loud.

"Fuck!  Fuck.  Again.  Do it again.”

Sonny looked up, unsure, but Rafael was already shaking his head.

"Do it again," he said and removed his deathlike grip on the muscles in Sonny's chest.  Instead he reached up and put his hands on the head board, circling his hips one more time in a filthy swivel before leaning up on his knees.  Not far enough for Sonny to leave his body, but far enough that only the thick head stayed housed in his body.  "Come on, Sonny.   _Alpha_.  Don't you want to work for it?"

The growl that left his throat was unintentional but it made Rafael shiver anyway.

"Come on, baby," he breathed and met Sonny's eyes in the moonlight.  "Come and get it."

"God, Rafael," Sonny growled, half appreciation and half warning.  He didn't feel like he could be held responsible for what he did when Rafael hovered above him, taunting and hot, stretched around the head of his dick.

Rafael was asking him for it; how could Sonny say no?

He gripped Rafael's hips and pulled him down, spearing him down onto his rigid prick, even as he thrust up hard into him.  Rafael threw his head back, a choked gasp turning into a low moan.  Sonny's eyes were fixed to his throat as it stretched back, aching to have his mouth on it.

"God, yes, just like that, fuck, Sonny, again, don't stop."

Sonny didn't.  He let go, giving himself over to what he wanted to do anyway, to thrust up into Rafael, to take him, to claim him.  He thrust up hard, slow, plunging up deeply into his lover over and over again, each stroke drawing pleasured gasps and moans from the man who rocked his hips against him.

Rafael bowed his body forward, one hand leaving the headboard to touch the side of Sonny's face, his thumb across his cheekbone, palm along his jaw, long fingers curling against the side of his neck.

"Look at me, Sonny," he pled, desperate, breath coming in gasps.  "Alpha, look at me."

Sonny did, blue and green eyes both black in the darkness, and Rafael came.

He gritted his teeth, ground his jaw, and his ass clamped down on Sonny so hard he ceased to breathe.  In a moment Sonny could feel the first spurt of come land in the center of his chest.  The sensation drew his eyes down from Rafael's to watch the muscles of his abdomen clench and shake as he came in long ropes onto the length of Sonny's torso.  In prolonged spurts at first that marked Sonny up and then in a succession of quick bursts as Sonny fucked up into him and forced every last drop from his body.

"Alpha," he sighed and struggled to catch his breath.  "Sonny."

"Raf," he acknowledged in return and swallowed thickly.  "That was amazing.  God, you're amazing."

"I'm only happy to see you keep your promises," Rafael panted and leaned down to swipe a kiss across Sonny's parted lips.  It was hardly a real kiss, Sonny's jaw too slack to really return it.  "You did so good, Sonny.  So good for me."

"Yes," he breathed.

"You're going to keep doing so good for me, aren't you?" Rafael asked and kissed him again, deeper this time as he rolled his hips again.  Sonny couldn't imagine the sensitivity he must have been feeling then but Rafael didn't seem to mind, rocking into it instead of away even as he hissed and shook.  "Oh, that's good.  That's so good."

Sonny agreed but couldn't manage the words.  Instead he watched as Rafael lifted himself up and off Sonny, letting his cock slip from Rafael's body and fall back to his stomach with a wet slap.  He was too out of his mind to complain but he must have made some kind of sound because Rafael graced him with a smile and another kiss, even as he drew his leg up and over Sonny as he settled next to him.  On his knees, still, settling them far apart and leaning down on his elbows.  Sonny thought he might have wanted another kiss and gave him one, deep and hungry, but Rafael only softened his eyes and nipped at the shallow cleft in Sonny's chin.

"Alpha," he said again and this time the darkest part of Sonny's brain caught the subtle wag of his hips.  Ass in the air, hole exposed and slick.

 _Presenting_ , Sonny realized and his eyes threatened to roll back.

Rafael wanted Sonny behind him.

He was up on his knees behind Rafael in an instant, with hardly a breath spared as he reached down to run his hands over Rafael's flanks and up his sides.  Soothing, assuring.  Providing comfort even if Rafael didn't seem like he needed it because that was in Sonny's Alpha nature - to care for him, to make him come and praise him for it.

"Please," Rafael asked and Sonny gripped himself hard at the root to keep himself from losing it.  He waited a few seconds, until after the urge had passed, before lining himself up again.  Just in front of him Rafael looked back over his shoulder, again moved his hips from side to side.  All night they'd been _Rafael and Sonny_ but suddenly he was aware that they were more than that, too.

They were Alpha and Omega.

Made for each other, destined to fit.  Destined to play the roles that called to them now, with the rest of the world locked away and nothing but the moonlight on their skin.

"Omega," Sonny sighed as he pressed inside the only man he'd ever loved.

"Yes," Rafael whispered back to him even as his head dropped to the pillow.  "Yes."

Sonny glided along inside him, inside that vice-like grip that was hotter than hell and twice as sweet, and praised the God that made them for letting him have the man under him.

"I've only ever imagined this," he confessed, cloaked in darkness and protected from the accusation daylight would bring.  "I've imagined it for so long, Omega.  Wanted to feel you around me, wanted to feel you jerk and shake when I made you mine."

"Yours," Rafael agreed and keened at the feeling of Sonny's hand smoothing over the column of his spine.  "Just yours, Alpha.  Only want you."

"Fuck.  Fuck, yes," he said and took a grip on the firm muscle between Rafael's neck and shoulder to pull him backwards as he thrusted forward.  "God, you make me so fucking crazy.  Make me jerk off at work, make me come on the bathroom floor like a fucking animal."

Rafael whined, high in his throat as Sonny sped up.  As the sound of colliding skin took over the sound of their breathing, as Sonny started to give himself over to the pressure building deep in his core.  It was coiled tight, snarling and ready to take its fill of the man rocking his hips back to take Sonny deeper.  Sonny fought it back, kept his hold.  Kept himself in control even as Rafael cried out and fisted his hands in the pillow.

"Alpha," Rafael groaned pitifully, sounding every bit as broken as Sonny felt.  " _Alpha alpha alpha_..."

"Tell me," Sonny said and thrusted deep, stayed, and pulled out completely.  Rafael whimpered and yelled out his satisfaction when Sonny fucked into him again, rougher.  One hand on his hip, one on his collarbone.  Spearing into him hard enough to shake the bed.

"Alpha, gonna come again."

"Yes you are," Sonny grunted out and sped up.  The headboard was hitting the wall now, slapping in time with the sound of their skin meeting over and over again.  "My Omega's gonna come again, just like I promised.  Didn't I tell you, Rafi?  Didn't I tell you I'd make you come until you couldn't anymore?"

"Yes," Rafael answered.  "Yes, please.  Please make me come again."

Even if the affirmation hadn't spurred him on, the _please_ absolutely would have.

Sonny pulled Rafael from his grip on the slope of his neck until the man was upright again, almost in Sonny's lap and bouncing on the hard cock still buried inside him.  It pushed Sonny deeper, kept them closer as Rafael's back met Sonny's front and slid against the sweat-slicked skin.  The perfume of Rafael's arousal was heavy in the air, sweetening the heavy cloud of sex that had collected around them.  Sonny breathed it in, scenting that subtle juncture of his neck as he wrapped a long arm around Rafael's shoulder and chest to keep them close as Sonny kept the punishing pace he'd set before.

His hips pistoned too fast, pushed too hard, but Rafael only seemed to revel in it as he reached back to hold his hand against the nape of Sonny's neck.  Holding him close, pulling at the short hairs there so that the slight pain melded with the pleasure rioting under Sonny's skin.  A pleasure he would have to submit to sooner rather than later, so he let his other hand wander down to wrap around Rafael's hard prick, bobbing with the force Sonny was hammering into him.  Rafael cried out at the first touch, his hips stuttered, and he sat hard onto Sonny's cock.  It stole the breath from his lungs, the willpower from what was left of his mind.

Later, he would blame the moment.

He would blame the molten clench of Rafael's body, the darkness around them in rippling blues and oranges from the moon and the street lamps outside.

Really, Sonny could only blame himself.

He was the one at fault when his arm tightened across Rafael's chest and the man's head lolled to one side, baring his neck in a stunning display of submission that Sonny never expected to see out of Rafael.  It was kerosene on a wildfire and Sonny couldn't resist it so he didn't.  He growled low in his chest, rutted hard into Rafael's welcoming body, and sunk his teeth in the corded muscle being presented to him.  Hard enough to bruise, not hard enough to break skin, but Rafael howled in response anyway.  His hips stuttered and bucked and he came all over Sonny's fingers as they jacked him hard, in time with Sonny's thrusts.  His senseless babbling only grew in volume as Sonny sucked the skin between his teeth, bursting capillaries and bringing blood welling to the surface.

It would bruise, turn purple and blue.

Rafael would feel it for days.

He'd feel it now, in its creation.  He'd feel it pink and scarlet and then dark and angry.  He would feel it as it grew kaleidoscopic, shifting its hues and healing until it faded enough for Sonny to need to make it again.  He would feel it and think of Sonny, would think of this moment - the moment Alpha met Omega and were one and the same.

Sonny came with Rafael's skin between his teeth.

The salt of his flesh sharp on Sonny's tongue as he retreated from Rafael's body one more time and thrusted inside again, deep.  Hard enough to push the bed forward as Sonny shook with the force of his release as he shot into Rafael.  His entire body shook with it, pouring himself into Rafael with such a force that he felt hollowed out.  He gave his lover everything he had, every ounce and drop of himself as long seconds passed and his eyes stayed tightly shut because he was afraid it would all have disappeared.

 _This can’t possibly be real,_ he thought to himself as his heart ricocheted in his chest and Rafael thrusted absently into his slackened grip. _This is all a dream, it has to be._

Rafael held so close, breathing heavily into the dark room while they came down from their high.  Rafael leaning his head back against Sonny's shoulder, still toying with the fine hairs at the base of his  skull as his heart calmed and Sonny relinquished the hold on his softening prick.  Every touch was reverent, soft.  It was everything Sonny had ever wanted and more to know that Rafael had given himself to him, had bared his body and his soul for Sonny to mark as his own.

Sonny kept his arm wrapped around Rafael's chest, not yet willing to let him go.  He nuzzled gently at his neck, first kissing and then licking the spot where his teeth had clamped down on Rafael's skin, worrying at it lovingly.  He couldn't bear to leave it, fixated on the spot that Rafael had allowed him to mark him.

 _Mine,_ he thought, in a daze.   _My Omega, my Rafael._

He rocked his hips lazily, his slowly softening cock thrusting shallowly into the other man and making him whine.  Sonny's free hand roamed tenderly over Rafael's stomach, his hips, making his lover shiver from the gentle touches on his skin.  It became clear that Rafael also wasn't ready to let the moment end.  When Sonny began to shift away, Rafael keened and reached down to grip his hip, pushing his ass back against his lap.

"Alpha," he slurred, his voice wrecked, and he gave a weak roll of his hips.  Sonny shuddered from oversensitivity, but if will alone had been enough to overcome his body, he would have gripped Rafael tighter and fucked him all over again, so great was his longing to please his lover.

His Omega.

Rafael turned his head, and Sonny bent just enough to manage to capture his mouth.  He worked to kiss him, but it was worth it to feel Rafael breathing into his mouth.  

Finally, when the ache in their bodies was too great, Rafael rolled sideways out of Sonny's lap, and his cock slipped free of him.  He barely recognized the whimper of protest that escaped his throat.  Rafael's hands never left him.  Even as he turned, he was touching Sonny's chest, his arms, pulling him down with him.  Rafael rolled into his back and pulled Sonny close, and Sonny didn't need words spoken to know what the other man wanted.

He kissed him, slowly, languidly licking into his mouth, cupping his cheek, nipping at kiss bruised lips.

"Rafael," he whispered, and again, "Raf."

_I love you.  I love you._

"If I fall asleep don't hold it against me," Rafael murmured in between long kisses.  "I don't remember the last time I was fucked comatose."

Sonny snorted a laugh and was surprised at how perfect it felt in that moment.

It was a comfort that laughter felt just as natural as sex had, as natural as his fevered thoughts of love did.

"Yeah, well.  I'll try not to let it hurt my feelings," Sonny replied but still peppered kisses up the line of Rafael's jaw in the process.  "Just so long as you're still here in the morning."

"This is my bed."

"That you're going to let me sleep in, right?" he said, fighting off a smile.  "Because your couch isn't bad, but it's definitely my second choice."

Rafael rolled his eyes but it was softened by his fingers toying with Sonny's hair.  "I had planned on you sleeping here, yes.  Provided you don't steal the blankets, in which case you're back on the couch."

"Oh, Rafi.  So romantic."

They lay in silence for a little while, Sonny absently thinking of cleaning up but unable to find the motivation to do so.  Not when Rafael was so close, smelling like the both of them.  Smelling like the love they'd made, the claim Sonny had staked.  He hadn't even realized his eyes had closed, not until Rafael's voice forced them open again.

"I'll still be myself in the morning," Rafael whispered as though he wasn't sure if Sonny was listening.  "Just so you know."

"Who else would you be?" Sonny murmured, not understanding.  He wasn't sure if he had misheard Rafael or if he was just slow from sex and the lull of sleep.

Rafael didn't answer for a long moment, his face as still turned to Sonny's shoulder just enough that Sonny couldn't see if his eyes were open or not.

"Some Omega," he said, when he finally spoke again.

Sonny understood, and felt a brief protective surge of adrenaline flutter through his chest.  It was useless; he couldn't protect Rafael from whatever had happened in his past to make him think Sonny was going to see him differently, treat him differently, now that they'd been to bed together.  Now that he'd seen the Omega side of him, and Sonny had left his mark on his throat.

He wondered who else had sucked bruises onto Rafael's throat in the past.

"Good," Sonny said, glad at how casual his voice sounded.  "I wouldn't recognize you if you weren't a hardass."

"You say that now," Rafael muttered, mostly without bite.  Sonny had a flicker of his own understanding, knowing how easily tunes could change.

"I'll say it in the morning, too," Sonny assured him, pulling him closer.  An arm around his middle, lips against his shoulder.  "Go ahead and sleep.  We can both be the same in the morning."

He hoped Rafael knew just how much he meant it, he mused as exhaustion slowly got the better of him.

 

**…**

 

Sonny woke once the sun was already up, no alarm to disturb him on his day off.  Normally he would have been at Mass by this time but they were currently dealing with special circumstances and God would understand.  As much as he would have liked to pretend it was because of work it would be a lie - really it was because there were lips on his neck already, before he’d even opened his eyes, and a strong arm wrapped around his naked chest.  He could feel the sighs of Rafael’s breath on his collarbone, heating his skin from the outside in while a persistent nudging against his hip told him that Rafael had woken up already feeling amorous.

“Raf,” he croaked, voice rough with misuse from the previous night.  

“Mmm.”

"Good morning," Sonny murmured, a smile in his voice.  If the night before seemed like a dream in the warm light of morning, than this - Rafael's body pressed tight against him, combined with his wandering hands, the scratch of his chin against his shoulder, the brush of his lips on his skin - it all grounded him in a blissful reality.

"I thought you would never wake up," Rafael complained, though good naturedly. He sounded breathier than Sonny would have expected.  He wondered how long he had been awake.

However long he had been waiting, he apparently was done now.  The air left Sonny's lungs in a rush as Rafael's hand slid down his stomach between his legs.  Sonny was always half hard in the morning anyway, but the feel of Rafael's hand and the overwhelming, intoxicating scent of the Omega had him fully erect in moments.

"Jesus, Rafael," he groaned, and turned in the other man's arms.  

He kissed him - he had to kiss him, had to part his lips and lick into his mouth, heedless of morning breath.  Rafael went willingly, rolling onto his back and spreading his thighs for Sonny to fall between, opening his mouth to Sonny's kisses. He drew his knees up, hooking his hands behind them, and Sonny groaned as his prick slid along the slick curve of Rafael's ass.

Sonny was barely awake but desire was building so rapidly and feverishly that his body was moving of its own accord, his mind too sluggish and clouded with sleep to catch up.  He was fueled even more by Rafael's open mouth, his body pliant and willing as Sonny moved him.  He keened as Sonny kissed him, and for a moment Sonny though he might black out.

Fast.  It was all so fast.

One moment he was hardly able to open his bleary eyes to see Rafael in the warm golden sunlight and the next Rafael was clawing at the meat of his ass, kissing him hungrily - as though there was something in Sonny that he needed to survive, something he was willing to drag out of him by way of teeth and breath and nails scoring his skin.  Sonny was dizzy with it.  He wanted to keep Rafael like this forever; wanted to keep him on his back, smelling so sweet and rocking his hips up into him.

Sonny wanted to keep him begging, cock hard and leaking between them, brushing Sonny’s with every pass.  He wanted to be inside him already, needed this heat that suffused him, he needed to keep Rafael in this bed all day and - _wait_.

His eyes snapped open, the final vestiges of sleep finally burned away in the wake of realization.

He looked down at Rafael, green eyes heavily lidded, mouth open, cheeks flushed.  He was beautiful; Sonny didn't think he'd ever looked so beautiful, so fucking sexy.  He was irresistible, and that was nothing compared to the scent of him.  He was everywhere, thick in the air around them, and the scent made Sonny feel drunk; flush with desire, out of control.  He wanted Rafael, more than he'd ever wanted anyone, but not like this.  Only one thing caused this.

Only _heat_ could do this.

Only heat could make him this out of control, could fill him with this kind of burning unquenchable want.  Even realizing, even knowing what was happening barely mattered.  He knew he needed to stop this, to get up and put space between them, but he didn't know how.  Rafael was under him, wanting... his Omega _needed_ him, he couldn't imagine doing anything other than giving Rafael exactly what he needed.  A glance was all it took to realize that Rafael was feeling the same way - desperate, out of control.

Which was why it was up to Sonny to stop it.

Their careers were littered with perps taking advantage of heats and ruts, and Sonny wasn’t about to rationalize his way to a place among them.

“Raf,” he breathed against the man’s lips and succeeded only in earning fingers dug into his hips, a huffed breath of affirmation against his mouth.  “Raf, hey.  Look at me.”

"I'm looking at you," Rafael breathed, and the sweet invitation in his voice pulled at Sonny's heart, and his body.  God, at his body.  Rafael cupped his face and pulled him down into a kiss Sonny couldn't quite resist.  How could the man taste so sweet?

"I see you," Rafael whispered against his mouth and rolled his hips.  "Do you see me?  Do you see how much I want you, Alpha?"

“Yeah, I- I do see,” he said and took a deep breath only to realize his mistake.  The sobering breath was ruined by more of Rafael’s scent.  “But hey, I think we might want to slow down, alright?”

“What?” Rafael asked breathlessly, still holding Sonny in place.  

“We didn’t- we didn’t talk about this,” he argued and it sounded weak, even to his own ears.  “We didn’t talk about this before - I mean, before we got together, I guess - and I think maybe we should wait until you’re, um.  More in control, I guess.”

“I don’t need to be in control,” Rafael replied.  “That’s what you’re for.”

“No, not- not like that.  I mean-”

“Don’t you want me?”

Sonny balked.

“Of course I do.  You know I do.”

"Then _have_ me." Rafael said, echoing his words from the night before, and Sonny's head swam.  He wanted to, so badly, but he knew he was right. They hadn't talked about this, and an Omega in heat wasn't in any more position to properly consent than an Alpha in rut.  Rafael was so in control, Sonny wouldn't take that from him.  Couldn't bear the way he would look at him later.

Couldn't bear to look at himself later, knowing he could have stopped himself.

"I can't," Sonny said, and though he meant to pull away he dipped his head instead and scented at Rafael's neck, his mouth watering.  He could see the marks his teeth had left there the night before and the shadow of the bruise that would come.

 _Mine,_ he thought, dark and hungry, and it was that thought, and the urge to _take_ that came with it that acted as a shock to his system.  It was the shade of the kind of Alpha he didn't want to be, and that conviction gave him the strength to disentangle himself from Rafael and scramble back to the edge of the bed.

"I- I'm sorry," he said, throat dry as he stood, hardly thinking of a need to cover himself.  It was obvious, the extent to which Sonny's body craved the man before him.  His body wasn't the problem.  It was his conscience that wouldn't leave him alone.  "But I think I'd better go.  I'll call the sarge to get a uniform in here to cover for me.  Not another Alpha, of course.  Obviously."

"Wait," Rafael said, confusion coming into his voice.  The seductive look fell from his face, replaced with a frown and a furrowed brow, but he looked no less beautiful.  "You're going to _leave_?  Sonny.  You can't leave.  I need you."

A hard fist struck him somewhere low in his solar plexus and an anguished breath was forced from his lungs.

"Listen, I know you do.  I mean, I know you think you do, but this is... we're so new, alright?" he said and bent to pick up his slacks, telling himself the motion wasn't to avoid the slowly-dawning realization on his Omega's face.  "And it's just, this is something we need to talk about.  Beforehand.  When hormones aren't involved."

"You're being serious," Rafael said, astonished.  "We've talked.  We've been on dates, all the ones you wanted and that we didn't need.  You fucked me all night, you were ready to fuck me just now, why is it any different?  I want you, you want me.  You can't just blame how I feel on hormones like I don't know what I want."

Sonny could tell that Rafael was hurt, angry.  He could hardly be surprised that he was lashing out.  The stress of the threats, and the wild emotion that came with the heat; whether Rafael wanted to admit it or not.

Rafael's eyes narrowed.  "Or do you not know what you want?"

Sonny stilled.

"You know that's not it," he said, voice low.  "I haven't wanted anybody but you for years, Rafael.  Not like this, not... not like what I want this to be."

"So stay," Rafael pleaded, slipping to the side of the bed.  Eyes at Sonny's hip-level, drawn instinctually to the hardened flesh swaying between his legs.  A quick tongue darted in a flash of pink to wet his bottom lip and the groan that punched out of Sonny was entirely involuntary but Rafael pounced on it, smelling weakness.  "It's fine, Sonny.  This is what I want."

Sonny didn't remember moving forward but somehow he was within Rafael's reach, the man's fingers brushing through the fine hair over his thighs.

"We're together, you and I.  Finally.  After all these years, after all this wanting, I've found my Alpha.  The one I'm meant to have," Rafael told him, voice soft and sweet.  Pleading, reassuring.  A balm on Sonny's frayed nerves.  "Now's when I need you.  I know I can depend on you, can't I?  I can trust you?"

"Of course," Sonny said quickly.  "You know you can."

"I can trust you with our cases, I can trust you with my life," Rafael insisted and nuzzled against the jut of Sonny's hip.  "Why shouldn't I be able to trust you with my body?"

Sonny wanted to give in.  Everything that Rafael said made so much sense.  It would be so easy to give in to what he wanted, what Rafael wanted.  He could take care of him, make him come again and again until he was sated, hold him close and cover him with his scent, just to do it all again an hour later.

He touched Rafael, carded his fingers through how sleep mussed hair.  Rafael leaned into the touch and Sonny almost crumbled.

"You can trust me with your body. You can trust me with everything.”  He released a shaky breath and gripped Rafael’s sable hair between his fingers.  “That's why I have to leave."

He felt Rafael stiffen - felt it down to his core, which rioted in protest.

"This isn't you," Sonny said, wishing his voice was as strong as his conviction.  "You'll hate me for it when this is over.  I couldn't take it."

"No," Rafael moaned but Sonny was already moving away, clothes in hand.  He scooped his shirt off the floor, left the tie.  Tried to ignore the smell of Rafael on them from the night before, used the thoughts of those long hours to help convince himself that he was doing the right thing.

If what he had with Rafael was there to stay, was what he wanted it to be, then it would survive this.  Rafael would forgive his wanting to be certain, would understand.  The price he'd pay for staying, for taking when Rafael hadn't had a chance to decide for himself that this was something he'd want to share with Sonny. would be too high.  High enough to destroy him, to destroy the two of them.  And he would deserve it.

He managed to step into his pants, to fasten them around the heavy swell of flesh that made it nearly unbearable.  Rafael was behind him by the time he'd thrown his shirt back on, saturating him with the furnace that emanated from his skin.  Sonny could feel it over his clothes, deep into his flesh.  Down to the bone, particularly as Rafael drew in a tremulous breath and wrapped his arms around Sonny's waist.  He felt a hot kiss pressed between his shoulder blades, wandering upwards.  Just finding the base of his neck before Rafael would have to lean up on his toes to reach.

"Let me love you," Rafael whispered against his skin.  "Let me show you how much I love you."

His throat tightened.

It was all he'd ever wanted.

He had to hope he'd hear it again, when Rafael offered it in something other than persuasion.

"I have to go," he whispered, hoarse with something other than want and his eyes slipped closed when Rafael let him go.  When the strong hold of those arms was gone, when the ghost of Rafael's kiss had faded from his skin.  "I'm so sorry, Raf."

"Go."

The single word was a blade over skin, an iron grip around his heart.

He turned, knowing already what he'd see, but still the sight managed to take his breath away.  Rafael, golden skin slicked with the sweat of wanting him.  Green eyes nearly overtaken with the deep black of his pupils, his normally neat hair disheveled with the tumble of sleep and the drag of Sonny's fingers.  He was hard, bobbing against the soft swell of his lower abdomen, and Sonny's hands shook with the force it took for him to hold back.

"I love you," he offered.  Because it was the truth, because he couldn't help it.  Because if this was something Rafael couldn't forgive him for at least he would have had the chance to say it.  "I love you so much."

"Go," Rafael said again, this time stronger.  His body swayed forward for a second, working against what remained of his rational thought, but it was the words Sonny listened to rather than the body as he nodded and headed for the door.

It closed behind him.

It wasn’t gentle, not the soft _snick_ of a latch slipping into place.

It slammed.

It was a harsh bark that echoed in the still air of the rest of the apartment, caught in his ears and tattooed into his brain as he stood just on the other side of the door.  He was so sure he could feel Rafael there, his warmth permeating the wood.  And then it was gone.  The soft burn of the man’s presence, the taut humming beneath his skin that Sonny had always thought belonged to Rafael.  As much a part of him as any other body part - an extension of it, maybe, with green eyes and a sharp tongue made for drawing out the very best in him.

And maybe also the worst.

Sonny moved away from the door, eyes on his bag still on the couch where he left it the night before.  He buttoned his shirt, found his shoes where he’d taken them off by the couch the night before.  As he dressed he could hear Rafael’s body fall back into the bed, damp skin against warm sheets.  Standing, he tried to pretend the sound of wet flesh moving against itself didn’t call out to him; that it wasn’t a hymn, calling him to worship.  To care for, to adore until the delirium has evaporated and they were only left with each other.  

Instead he pulled his phone out of his pocket, dialing even as he heard the first long moan from behind the closed door.

“Sarge?” he asked at Fin’s gruff greeting.  “It’s me.  I need you to send over a uniform." A sharp intake of breath from Rafael made him wince. "A Beta.”

 


End file.
